“And would you care to choose some wine?” These are words that can strike fear into to most resolute of us.  When dining alone or as a couple the choice is often an indulgent, leisurely pleasure but when there is a larger group it can feel more like sitting an exam you didn’t revise for. Whether it’s a work dinner with colleagues or a social outing with friends, the arrival of an impressive wine list can trigger waves of anxiety and self doubt. Suddenly you are not merely hosting — you are representing the table’s taste, budget, and dignity.  For many it is a poisoned chalice.  The irony is of course that whilst almost everyone has an opinion about wine there are very few people who would actually want to take the responsibility for choosing it.

When dining in a business context, the stakes feel particularly high. Order something too cheap and you appear stingy or unimaginative. Order something too expensive and you look as though you’re enjoying the company account rather too much. Somewhere in the middle lies the mythical “sensible bottle”: respectable enough not to raise eyebrows but modest enough not to prompt a discussion with the finance department the next morning.  Note that most believe this bottle resides as the second item on each section of the wine list.  Many restaurants are happy to perpetuate this myth

In social settings the pressure is slightly different but no less real. Among friends, you want something enjoyable without having to remortgage the house. Nothing disrupts a pleasant evening faster than someone quietly Googling the wine price and announcing, “Blimey, that’s £95 a bottle!”before it has arrived at the table.

Then there’s the challenge of pleasing everyone. One person insists they only drink thumping big Tuscan reds. Another that they are having fish as a main course and a red really would not do at all. Trying to find a bottle that keeps the peace at the table can feel like diplomatic negotiations at the United Nations.

Here are a few of our thoughts to help you with this perennial dilemma;

• Don’t overthink it.  Better to be confident and wrong than die of thirst!  It is only a wine choice and once this has been done you can enjoy the company of your fellow diners.
• Don’t forget, most people are far less concerned about the wine than we imagine. The pressure exists largely in our own minds.  Confidence beats expertise every time.
• Be careful when delegating. You could pass the wine list and the responsibility to someone else and say “you are much better at this sort of thing than me”.  They may resent you for this or they may be flattered.  It is a risk.  Either way you have now lost control of the process and there is a much bigger risk that they will go rogue and blow your budget.
• If the permutations of individual predilections and recherche food choices is getting too much then opting for wine by the glass solves the problem.  It diminishes the shared experience and sense of occasion a little but it is often a quicker and more economical solution if that is important to you.
• Leave it to the professional and ask the sommelier if available.  This is a better option.  They are the experts on their wine list and can be guided to find something on budget and that is likely to please.
• If by dint of skill or luck your choice is a popular one? Bask in the glory of your success and order a second bottle.

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