The press has been abuzz of late with the results of a survey about Gen Z and their attitude to punctuality. The survey revealed that half of respondents (aged 16–26) believe that being five to ten minutes late is effectively the same as being on time. What none of the journalists have mentioned, however, is that the survey was published in 2024 and they have only just got around to writing about it. Two years? 10 minutes? Who is counting – not the journalists either it would seem.
At Debrett’s, we talk a great deal about the importance of first impressions, and if your first impression is one of lateness, you have to accept that you are on the back foot before you even begin. We hold to the view that arriving late can be forgiven, but not even trying to arrive on time is unconscionable.
It is hard to imagine why Gen Z — or indeed any other group — would take such a casual approach to timekeeping. Arriving on time (or even early) sits at the top of a list of things that are hugely important and yet require no particular skill or talent to achieve. Other items on this list include being well presented and maintaining a positive attitude.
What many people forget is that being consistently and unapologetically late for meetings, social gatherings or indeed anything else sends out a very clear message: that you consider your time to be more important and more valuable than that of the people who arrived punctually. If you are one of those left waiting, it is difficult not to take that personally or to form judgements about the late arrival. More often than not senior partners in professional services firms will be quietly totting up the cost of wasted time and trying to work out who should foot the bill whilst they wait for their more junior colleagues to appear..
Why, then, have Gen Z fallen into this way of thinking? One theory is that, as the cohort with no meaningful pre-Covid frame of reference, their experience of work has been disproportionately virtual. As a result, they have not had to endure the burning stares of colleagues as they attempt to slip silently into a meeting room long after the preliminaries have concluded. Nowadays, of course, those preliminaries often include waiting for Gen Z to turn up as a matter of course. Perhaps logging into a virtual meeting late — camera firmly off — simply lacks the visceral embarrassment of its real-life equivalent, encouraging a more relaxed attitude towards punctuality.
Gen Z receive a great deal of criticism (mostly from millennials who have all the jobs, and from Gen X and the boomers who own all the houses). Yet, in the spirit of defending them, it is fair to acknowledge that the working-from-home era reshaped workplace habits for everyone, and perhaps altered the way younger generations think about time itself.
The WFH experience meant that nobody had to travel anywhere for meetings, which in turn made meetings easier to schedule — and therefore far more frequent. They are invariably booked in rigid one-hour blocks, beginning and ending on the hour, stacked back-to-back throughout the day. This creates a number of unwelcome side effects. Firstly, the meetings are largely ill thought out and many attendees are surplus to requirement. The relentless scheduling of them leaves no time for doing any proper work and for what our American colleagues would call a “bio break” and this creates an unspoken assumption that nobody can realistically be expected to arrive punctually for every meeting. As we drift back towards office life, a new set of habits, expectations and beliefs around punctuality has not only emerged, but become ingrained.
So, to all those planning and running meetings while fulminating about tardy Gen Z colleagues: you can be the change. You can — quite literally — set the agenda. Plan fewer meetings, be more selective about who needs to be there. Finish meetings early. Build space between appointments. Create a culture in which punctuality is realistic rather than aspirational. Small adjustments in behaviour have a habit of becoming powerful social norms.
Because punctuality is about more than clocks and calendars. It is a visible sign of respect, discipline and consideration for others. In professional life — and indeed in life generally — people may forget what you said in a meeting, but they will rarely forget who kept them waiting.
For over 250 years, Debrett's has published the definitive catalogue of the British nobility and provided authoritative guidance on social and professional conduct for every occasion.
Debrett's membership opens the door to our complete library - from the nuances of the British social season and correct forms of address, to business etiquette and social protocol. Free membership is available to all, with immediate access to the full breadth of our content. Paid members also enjoy access to the Debrett's Peerage database.
Debrett's Coaching offers entirely tailored programmes crafted around individual client goals. Drawing on centuries of tradition, our coaching spans Luxury Service, Executive Coaching, Business Etiquette, Social Etiquette & Protocol, and Diplomacy — enabling clients to proceed with clarity, confidence and certainty.
By Rupert Wesson
Diplomacy has been in our thoughts a great deal of late due as much for it’s absence as for it’s presence.
British Prime Minister Edward Heath once described a diplomat as “a man who thinks twice before saying nothing” which is of course to misunderstand diplomacy entirely. Diplomacy is about achieving results and is perhaps more accurately characterised by the phrase “diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way” and that of course is never achieved by mute passivity. It is also worth adding that American “humourist” Will Rogers was quoted as saying that diplomacy is often described as the art of saying “nice doggy” while quietly looking for a stick. This neatly highlights our differing approaches to diplomacy and dogs.
The British would not claim to be the best diplomats in the world but our approach to this vital art has not been without influence. We would acknowledge that this is probably a result of our history and our national character. Our Empire building era meant that English is the lingua Franca of diplomacy which puts us in a position of advantage. It is almost certainly the direct cause of our poor track when it comes to learning a second language. We also have some innate traits, tropes and characteristics which serve the cause of diplomacy rather well. If nothing else we are a nation that has mastered the strategic use of formality, understatement, polite phrasing and self deprecating humour. Finally, we may not be a nation famed for the finesse of our hospitality but we do at least understand the importance of a well-timed cup of tea.
The UK is no longer the military super power it once was but at least it can still punch above it’s weight when it comes to soft power. Whether it is monarchs or marching bands; pubs or Paddington we know how to leverage our cultural phenomena to serve the cause of positive global influence.
The British trait of politeness is admired around the globe and is an essential tool for all diplomats. We are always ready with an apology be it to people, pets or indeed even the furniture. In addition our language is by default carefully considered, measured and no more direct than it needs to be. When it comes to delicate negotiations direct language is only used once agreement is reached. Indirect language is essential in order to guide everyone towards that point. It is worth noting that the British might be best described as “mid table” in the linguistic league of directness. That is to say we are much less direct than most of the Anglophone countries but much more so than most of Asia. This position affords us a certain global reach.
Then there is pragmatism. Effective diplomacy recognises that perfection is rare and compromise is inevitable. Striking a deal that works “well enough” for all parties is often far more valuable than holding out for an ideal that may never materialise. Foreign diplomats who observe the uncompromising perfection of our marching bands are delighted to discover a more pragmatic approach to negotiations.
As of today we may not be the leading power of the globe but our history and character have shaped the wider nature of global diplomacy and we would argue, for the good.
| What we say | What we want to say | What is understood |
| That is an interesting idea | You are stark staring mad | They think it is an interesting idea |
| With all due respect | I think you are out of line | They respect us |
| I’ll bear that in mind | I have already forgotten what you have just said | They will think about what we have said |
| Could I perhaps suggest…. | You do not have a choice | They are giving us a choice |
| I’m sorry! It is possible I did not express myself very well | You’re being stupid | They have not been clear and they are trying again |
| Could I suggest some minor amendments | Let’s start again, this is going to take forever | We are making progress, we are nearly there |
| It is a well intentioned suggestion | It is naïve and dangerously stupid | It was a positive contribution |
| Could I interject for a moment ? | Stop talking I have heard enough | They want to ask questions on what I have said before letting me continue |
| Recollections vary | We all know that was not what was said | I am not being directly challenged on what I have said |
Our history and deep knowledge of protocol and etiquette mean Debrett’s are uniquely placed to provide coaching and training for diplomats, diplomatic missions and indeed anyone conducting business with British and overseas governments.
The Debrett's Coaching team provide entirely bespoke training programmes, crafted to your goals. The Diplomacy programme covers topics such as:
If you would like to enquire about our bespoke coaching courses, follow the link below to our contact form. Alternatively, email [email protected] with your enquiry.
For those who wish to go further.
Debrett's membership opens the door to our complete library of etiquette guidance - from the nuances of the British social season and correct forms of address, to expert business coaching and social conduct for every occasion. Free membership is available to all, with immediate access to the full breadth of our content.
Paid members also enjoy access to the Debrett's Peerage database - the most comprehensive record of the British aristocracy available. The subscription is priced at £9.99 a month or £99.99 a year.
By Rupert Wesson
Formality has had a difficult time at work over the last few decades. Take the trajectory from small offices to open plan offices and working from home. Or look at the move from office wear to 'dress down Friday's' to athleisure all day every day. Does it really matter that we are in a race to the (track suit) bottom? What do we miss when we follow the tech bro's rejection of suits and syntax in favour of sweatpants and slang.
At Debrett's, we take the view that formality has the power to achieve a great deal. It conveys sincerity, respect, humility and even a sense of occasion. Not to mention, it costs nothing. Reclaiming formality and using it as your superpower, when done well, can set you apart from the crowd for all the right reasons.
Why, then, has formality seemingly vanished?
People, like all animals, are driven more by fear than favour. Much of people's fear of formality comes from being thought of as aloof, diffident and distant. Maybe it harks back to school days where the cool and rebellious kids ruled the roost and the rest tried their hardest to not standout.
It is undoubtedly true that formality will help you stand out, but it also must be balanced. When balanced with warmth, the effect is beguiling. If you smile, make eye contact and shake hands with your clients and colleagues in a relaxed and natural way people will notice. They may not even remember what you said, or what you did but they will remember how you made them feel. That can only be a good thing.
Let's start with first impressions. Why not use a formal greeting, a full name (never presuming to shorten it) and maybe even a title along with a handshake when meeting someone for the first time - it is elegant, courteous and respectful.
Think of this approach just as you would dressing more formally for meetings. Doing so conveys thought, effort and respect for the occasion and for everyone who is there. In the same way that you can remove a jacket to dress down, you can always move to less formal ways later if appropriate. Starting at a higher level of formality is always safer, any subsequent move to greater informality can then be a pleasant shared journey. It is certainly preferable to the lonely and unseemly scramble in the opposite direction if you misjudge things.
Not only can we use formality to convey respect to others but we can subtly use it to build our own authority. Formal language and behaviour are perceived as more deliberate, which in turn conveys competence and builds trust. Take the following two examples which are sentences you might use in an email to a client:
"have a look at the attached and tell me what you think"
Vs
"Please take a look at our initial thoughts in our report (attached). I would welcome hearing your thoughts in the next few days."
The second version is certainly a little longer, but is more deliberate and instructive. It is also polite, warm and (crucially) authoritative. It says 'I have taken time over this because our work for you is important' and 'I am really keen to work with you.' Such an approach will always get a better response.
At Debrett's we have seen there is a gap in the market for some well-judged formality, and we can provide coaching for you and your team on implementing formality to build your business with power and authority.
The Debrett's Coaching team provide entirely bespoke training programmes, crafted to your goals. Our business executive training focuses on empowering and energising and cover topics such as:
If you would like to enquire about our bespoke business coaching courses, follow the link below to our contact form. Alternatively, email [email protected] with your enquiry
When you receive an email that begins “I hope this email finds you well” you will probably react in one of two ways. You may barely register it’s presence and look to get to the point of the email or, you will shudder inwardly at the appearance of this ill advised and rather gauche salutation. What you will not do is think I am so glad that the correspondent has enquired about my well being in such a caring and imaginative way.
It’s banal filler, the email equivalent of elevator music. When clients open an email, they want to know why you’re writing and whether it matters to them. Starting with a vague enquiry about their well being wastes their time and subtly signals that you might want something from them (typically their time or their money) and are embarrassed or ashamed to ask. It is the equivalent of a gentle stage cough in a quiet room from someone seeking attention from people who are busy doing other things.
Most of us have dozens of emails each day and rather than read them in detail we scan them and this is especially true of those from people with whom we have a commercial relationship. If you are the one doing the emailing you should think of the opening line as your one and only chance to gain the reader’s attention. Wasting it with a stock phrase that adds no information will not help your chances of success.
It is a phrase that can sound oddly impersonal. Ironically, this sentence which is meant to sound warm often does the opposite. That is because it’s so overused and it reads as automated even when the email isn’t. Clients may not consciously judge you for it, but if they do they will likely conclude that you are not thoughtful, specific, or confident.
There’s also a subtle power issue. “I hope this email finds you well” can feel timid, especially when followed by a request, a deadline, or a problem that needs solving. Clear, direct openings project competence. Wobbly pleasantries do not.
So what should you do instead? Lead with purpose. Reference the context and get to the point kindly but efficiently. For example: “when we spoke last week I mentioned we would be releasing the dates for this year’s client events and you asked that I share them with you…” Still polite but useful and showing that you listen to the client and that you place great value on their time and attention.
In short, your clients don’t need to see your email cluttered with this or indeed any other similar blandishment. They need it to convince them you are informed, concise, and confident in your purpose.
If you would like Debrett’s to help your business to get things right, our business coaching team can provide you with the answers. The Debrett's Coaching team provide entirely bespoke training programmes, crafted to your goals. Our business executive training focuses on empowering and energising and cover topics such as:
If you would like to enquire about our bespoke business coaching courses, follow the link below to our contact form. Alternatively, email [email protected] with your enquiry.
Debrett’s Coaching team have recently been pleased to work with Live-In Care provider Hamilton George Care, providing them with a bespoke coaching programme for their care team. Fred Lloyd George, Co-Founder of Hamilton George Care shares his experiences of working with Debrett’s:
In care, it is so often the soft skills that matter most. At Hamilton George, clinical excellence is essential, but it is only the starting point in what we and our clients expect from our carers. We look for people who genuinely care about others, undertake their work with gentle confidence and professionalism, and have high emotional intelligence. These qualities shape the experience of care far more than clinical tasks alone.
As live-in care specialists, we support families across the UK, carefully matching them with our excellent, highly trained carers. Live-in care offers a tailored alternative to residential settings, enabling people to remain in the comfort and familiarity of their own home while receiving continuous, personalised, one-on-one care. Because this work happens in a private household, how a carer behaves - their manners, their discretion, their communication style - is as important as their clinical ability.
Soft skills are what make the difference between care that is competent and care that is truly exceptional. They influence the atmosphere in a home, the dignity a client feels, and the ease with which daily routines unfold.
A carer must be attuned to subtleties:
These are not skills typically taught in traditional care training, yet they are essential to delivering the thoughtful, unobtrusive support our clients depend on.
This is why working with Debrett’s this year has been such a privilege. Their expertise in etiquette, communication and professional comportment is world-renowned, and together we have developed something truly pioneering: Hamilton George is the only care agency in the world to offer Debrett’s-led lifestyle training to its carers.
The Debrett’s team has created a bespoke programme that elevates the behavioural aspects of care to the same standard as the clinical. Their insight into presence, confidence, and appropriate conduct within private homes has been invaluable.
The training has explored the nuances of how a carer presents themselves and interacts within a client’s household. Topics include:
It is training designed not simply to teach etiquette, but to deepen understanding of what it means to be a calming, competent and trusted presence.
The transformation we’ve seen in our carers has been remarkable. Many tell us that the training has given them a new sense of self-assurance - helping them feel more confident entering new environments, meeting families, and managing challenging situations with composure.
Our clients tell us the most valuable thing we deliver isn’t a particular routine or service - it’s a feeling of calm confidence. They notice the unobtrusive confidence, the polished communication, and the reassuring professionalism that sets Hamilton George carers apart. Families frequently remark that it feels as though the carer “just fits” - and that is exactly the outcome we hope for.
As we look toward next year, our ambition is to continue raising the standard of live-in care. Our partnership with Debrett’s will remain a cornerstone of that mission. We want every Hamilton George carer not only to deliver outstanding clinical care, but also to embody the emotional intelligence and professionalism that allow clients to flourish in the comfort of their own home.
Ultimately, our focus is on delivering an exceptional, highly personalised experience for every client. And when people feel confident, understood, and respected, exceptional care naturally follows.
If you are interested in hearing more about the Hamilton George Care team, or investigating care options for yourself, contact Fred at [email protected]
To learn more about Debrett's coaching and the bespoke training we can offer your business, contact us via the link below or email [email protected]
London, 18 November – Debrett’s has announced a strategic partnership with Mulberry Bow, a leading chartered financial planning firm, in a move that expands the Group’s capabilities into investment and financial planning for high-net-worth clients.
Under the terms of the agreement, Debrett’s has acquired a significant minority stake and together the businesses will offer seamless personal and corporate financial services for entrepreneurs, business owners and partner level professionals.
Mulberry Bow, founded in 2015, provides bespoke structuring advice and independent financial planning.
Darryl Eales, Group Chairman, said:
“This partnership aligns perfectly with our strategy to provide a fully integrated suite of services for our clients — from growing and realising the value of their businesses, to managing and preserving that wealth across generations.”
Simon Bullock, Founder of Mulberry Bow, added:
“We are delighted to join forces with Debrett’s and combine our expertise to better serve entrepreneurs and families through every stage of the wealth creation journey.”
The partnership is further strengthened by the appointment of Andrew Blazye and Simon Bullock to the Debrett’s board, joining Darryl Eales, Richard Sanders, Richard Swann and other senior board members. Their addition brings deep expertise in wealth management and strategic growth, further enhancing the Group’s leadership bench.
The addition of Mulberry Bow establishes a wealth management arm within the Debrett’s Group, complementing its existing Advisory, Investments and Coaching services and reinforcing its position as a trusted partner for high-net-worth individuals, founders and families.
