Australians and New Zealanders respond well to a firm handshake and to being looked in the eye when you meet. Women tend to kiss each other on the cheek, but it is perhaps better to restrict yourself to shaking hands when meeting for the first time. Men should wait for a woman to offer her hand.
An Australian’s direct approach to conversation, which can sometimes appear rude, should be answered by equal directness. An ability to stand up for yourself in debate is admired and a good sense of humour is greatly appreciated. Being over-effusive or immodest is frowned upon.
New Zealanders are more modest in their demeanour. They are always polite and unpretentious, and their sense of humour is quieter. Their practice of greeting you by slightly tipping their heads back and raising an eyebrow, adopted from the Maoris, can be a little off-putting to visitors expecting a more customary greeting.
When visiting Australians in their homes, a gift such as a bottle of wine is always acceptable. But in a business context, gifts should be kept to a minimum. Anything extravagant may cause embarrassment in a country that thrives on friendly informality.
When entering a New Zealander’s home it is polite to offer to remove your shoes.
Machismo is a notable quality amongst Australian men. They dislike other men to be too tactile, preferring to retain their own personal space. They often address people as ‘mate’, whether they know them well or even like them. This concept of ‘mateship’ – which does not usually include women – is of fundamental importance to them.
The use of ‘G’day’ is thoroughly tedious to Australians, and references to ‘Strine’ (a play on their pronunciation of ‘Australian’) can also cause irritation.
Inevitably, politics and religion can cause heated debate. In both countries safer conversational gambits are sport and sightseeing – New Zealanders in particular never tire of hearing compliments about the beauty of their landscape and Australians are passionate about sport (though be warned, they are fiercely partisan).
Whenever possible, try and avoid discussing relations with the Aborigines with Australians. Although there is an increasing awareness of their importance to Australia’s cultural identity, they are still a sensitive subject. If the subject is unavoidable, do not adopt a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude. Similarly, it is prudent to keep off the subject of the Maoris in New Zealand.
Australian enjoy making fun of each other, which involves making derogatory remarks about someone to their face. Taking the joke with good humour will be a mark in your favour.
Australians are predominantly Christian – Anglican and Catholic – but not overtly religious. A good proportion of New Zealanders are neither church-goers nor religious. However, Maori culture is strong in certain parts of the country.
Within the complex Maori social system, certain actions or sites are prohibited, or ‘tapu’– the word from which our ‘taboo’ originates. Do not take offence if you are asked not to enter areas that are sacred to Maoris, in particular burial grounds. Always ask permission before taking photographs. You will find that photography is generally acceptable as long as you consult with the community or the elders associated with a particular site. Always remove your shoes before entering a meeting house, and do not sit on surfaces used for eating or food preparation. If you want to enter a marae (meeting ground) always ask permission first – these sacred sites are not generally viewed as tourist attractions.
The family is important in Australia – and a buzzword in today’s politics. The ‘new man’ and his enlightened views are very much in evidence, but more sexist attitudes can still be encountered in remote areas. Same-sex marriage was recognised in Australia, with a huge parliamentary majority, in 2017, and Australians are open-minded about homosexuality – witness Sydney’s Mardi Gras parade which is arguably the most spectacular gay and lesbian event in the world today.
Political correctness is widespread and travellers from the United Kingdom should not expect some of the traditional courtesies: for instance, no one will give up their seat to you on a bus even if you are eight months’ pregnant with triplets. Above all, Australians want to be treated as equals, irrespective of social background, race, or gender. They are suspicious of overt displays of wealth and class and over-lavish good manners – so do not expect to be treated with fawning respect.
Avoid confusing New Zealanders and Australians. There is a friendly rivalry between the two countries, and much banter on the subject of their relative strengths.
Australians are very law-abiding. Thus cycling without a helmet, jay-walking, ignoring the red man at a pedestrian crossing and failing to fasten your seat belt in a taxi are all infringements of the law.
Oddly enough, ‘bugger’ and ‘bastard’ are not terms of abuse but of affection in Australia. Words to avoid are ‘stuffed’ and ‘root’, not because they are politically incorrect but because they have vulgar connotations.
As a relatively conservative nation, New Zealanders disapprove of anyone who spits, swears, gets drunk in public or drops litter.
Facetious jokes about Australians all being descended from convicts are considered distinctly unfunny. Humorous references to New Zealand’s enormous sheep population will not raise much of a laugh.
Smoking is banned in cafés and restaurants in New Zealand and Australia. Australians are vehemently anti-smoking, with draconian laws that extend indoor smoking bans to areas outside public buildings and adjacent to playgrounds and beaches, as well as cars with children as passengers. So be careful about lighting up, and always ask hosts for permission to smoke.
When riding in a taxi it is considered polite, if you are the only passenger, to sit in the front with the driver. However, it is acceptable for lone women to sit in the back of a taxi at night.
Many visitors to Australia will venture into the outback, and will be welcome visitors as long as they follow a few basic rules.
When driving in the countryside, other drivers will acknowledge you by lifting their index finger off the steering wheel. You should respond in kind. When meeting an oncoming vehicle, slow down and pull to the left. This is a courteous gesture, and it will also reduce the chance, on rough road surfaces, of a stone chipping your or the other vehicle. If you are following another vehicle, stay well back, out of range of the stones it kicks up.
Water is precious, so ensure that you are not profligate, and do not pollute existing water supplies. Show respect for the locals – in the country people rise and go to bed early, so avoid late-night phone calls or disturbances. Buy locally, and if you have brought any fresh produce or recent newspapers from the city, share them – this will be especially appreciated in remote areas.
In both countries, dress at work is formal for men and women. Men should wear a dark business suit and women should wear a business suit or smart dress. Otherwise, dress is very relaxed. Men are not expected to wear jackets, even in a smart restaurant. On the beach, anything goes. Visitors should not be surprised to see acres of bare flesh on display.
In both countries, punctuality is paramount. Bear in mind that there are three time zones in Australia. Always check your times, especially if catching a plane. December and January are unsuitable for doing business as this is when Australians and New Zealanders take their summer holidays.
Australians are approachable, open-minded and trusting unless provoked by tactics such as high-pressure salesmanship or boasting of your achievements. An unpretentious and natural approach is the key to successful business relations. Humour is frequently deployed, and swearing and informal language is common, even in a business environment. Sometimes they will provoke debates by making controversial remarks – it is best to respond with humour, as this is generally done for their own entertainment! Businesses are collaborative in Australia, so be prepared to wait for decisions to be reached.
The same rules apply to New Zealanders, but you will find that relations are a little more formal and you should use titles and surnames until invited to do otherwise. Business is conducted at a slightly faster pace, but a too direct approach can be seen as aggressive. New Zealanders like to use humour throughout their business meeting, as a means of lightening the atmosphere and building up a rapport. Anyone present at the meeting is welcome to air their views, regardless of hierarchies. Reliability and honesty are both highly prized qualities. New Zealanders consider it rude to discuss business during a meal – business lunches should be treated as social occasions.
Eating out is very popular in both countries and, as highly multicultural societies, there is a rich choice of food. ‘Modern Australian’ cuisine is a fusion of tastes and influences, with an emphasis on healthy, fresh ingredients. ‘Bush tucker’ on an Australian menu means a stew made of native specialities. Restaurants in the Outback or touristy areas sometimes offer local delicacies such as crocodile, buffalo, kangaroo and witchetty grubs.
Table manners and place settings are the same as in Europe. In both countries it is quite common to split the restaurant bill, with each person paying for what they consumed.
When dining in an Australian’s home, take a gift such as wine, flowers or chocolate. Offer to wash up after the meal, and always write to thank your host or call them the next day. If you are asked to tea in New Zealand, this usually means ‘dinner’, and is generally eaten between 6 and 8 p.m. If they mean tea, they usually call it ‘afternoon tea’.
The barbecue is an important ritual in both countries. Always offer to make a contribution to the meal – your host will usually advise you what to bring, but bottles of wine or a six-pack are always acceptable. Barbecuing is generally a male preserve, and the cook should be treated with respect. Never interfere with the host’s cooking, or offer advice.
In Australia, pub (bar) culture is all-important. ‘Shouting for’ (buying) rounds is expected. Buy a round soon after you arrive and never accept a drink unless you intend making your shout soon afterwards. A lone woman drinking with men will be treated as an equal as long as she buys her round. Australian measures are unique; a ‘schooner’ is 425 ml; a ‘middy’ is 285 ml (in Victoria and Tasmania this is called a ‘pot’); or just ask for a ‘glass’ and see what happens. Pints are available in Irish pubs.
If you visit a marae (a traditional Maori meeting ground), be prepared for a welcome ceremony, which involves challenges to establish whether guests are friends or foe and communal singing. You will then be invited to eat at long tables; do not begin eating until the food has been blessed or a speech of acknowledgement has been made. You will probably be served by younger people, while the older people cook. At the end of the meal you will be expected to give a speech of thanks, which praises the food and all those who served you. If you are asked to sing, it is considered respectful to perform a song from your own country.
Tipping is optional in Australia, and tips are usually only proffered for exceptional service. If eating out with a group of Australians, expect that the bill will be shared – like buying rounds in pubs, sharing restaurant bills confirms Australia’s egalitarian credentials.
Tipping in New Zealand is also not obligatory; a 10-per cent tip can be given for commendable service. Service charges are never added to bills. You will also find that many restaurants are ‘BYO’ (bring your own) – this means that you can bring your own bottle of wine, and will be charged a small corkage fee
