Limited social contact has taken its toll on formal dining, and hosting and attending dinner parties seems like a distant memory when lockdown rules restrict social gatherings.
However now that there is light at the end of the tunnel, there is no excuse for letting dining standards slip. Here are a few pointers that will serve you well:
The last pancake has been flipped and Lent, the long six-week run-up to Easter, has begun. Conventionally, this is a period of reflection, fasting and preparation for the Easter festivities. These august aims often translate into giving something up for Lent – frequently, everyday indulgences such as sweets, chocolate, alcohol or meat. For some Christians, Lent is a compulsory period of abstinence.
In our secular society Lent is often interpreted as a period when self-improvement is the order of the day. A lockdown Lent poses particular challenges and, at a time when social life has ground to a halt and many people are battling loneliness, penury, anxiety or depression, the minor sacrifices of Lent may seem to be a step too far.
You will need to take a long hard look at your lockdown lifestyle and ascertain what, precisely, is helping you to survive. If you honestly feel that a compulsive addiction to streaming services, regular takeaways and heavy consumption of caffeine and red wine are the only things that make your life worth living at the moment, then don’t kick away these vital supports. If, on the other hand, every glass consumed and evening spent watching television is a matter of self-loathing and self-reproach, then perhaps you should look at a six-week moratorium.
Perhaps, in these difficult times, it’s a good idea to reverse the conventional wisdom: don’t give things up, start doing things differently. Clear out your store cupboards and donate excess groceries to a food bank, or make regular donations when you do your weekly shop – there are collection points at many supermarkets. Review your wardrobe, weed out things you never wear, and put them on one side for charity shops. Increase the length of your daily walk or cycle ride. Alternatively, you could just give up moaning and try and embrace a more positive attitude.
Whether you choose to give something up or take a positive step, remember that this is a decision you have made for yourself, which concerns only you. Don’t boast about your sacrifices, or advertise your virtuous resolutions. Many people will have taken the perfectly legitimate decision to eschew Lenten sacrifices, and may find your self-satisfaction hard to take. For some people, simply getting through the dreary weeks ahead is enough of an achievement, and nobody should make them feel guilty for focusing on that task.
Remember that self-improvement is an arduous, lonely road and navigating it is a matter for you and your conscience. An audience, and approbation, is not required.
Whether you call it Pancake Day, Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday, Shrove Tuesday is the day before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. Western Christian churches view it as a day to cleanse the soul, as well as a chance to indulge before the fasting of Lent.
The term Shrove Tuesday comes about as Christians saw the day as a last-minute opportunity to confess and cleanse their souls before Lent, a ritual known as ‘shriving’. Traditionally, they would eschew fat, eggs and milk during Lent, so Shrove Tuesday was an opportunity to indulge in all three, while at the same time clearing out the store cupboard of temptations.
An orgy of pancake-eating may seem a little tame next to the extravagant celebrations, wild partying and gorgeous costumes of the Rio and Venice carnivals, both events that celebrate Mardi Gras. But this modest British ritual is an enjoyable milestone in the long, grey days of winter and a clear sign that we are moving inexorably towards Easter, and all the signs of renewal: longer days, snowdrops and daffodils, green shoots, spring birdsong.
This year, Shrove Tuesday occurs in the middle of a lockdown, so unfortunately we won’t be able to share our largesse with friends and neighbours. But make the time to enjoy a perfect pancake, and remember you can still enjoy finessing your flipping skills, even if you don’t have an appreciative audience.
The traditional British toppings are butter, or sugar and lemon, but you can also experiment with maple syrup, chocolate spread or bananas and ice cream (inevitably a hit with youngsters). If you want a more sophisticated option, try out a crêpe suzette, which is a French classic. Combine caster sugar, orange zest, orange juice and butter to form a syrupy, caramelised sauce. Pour this over the folded pancakes, then add a generous splash of orange liqueur, such as Grand Marnier, to the saucepan and ignite by turning up the gas and tilting the pan. The flaming liqueur is then poured over the pancakes – a satisfyingly theatrical and flamboyant gesture, even if you’re the only one to observe it.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, our thoughts turn to romance in the time of the Covid. In a world that has turned ever more virtual, online dating seems an increasingly good idea and dating apps and websites are booming. Lockdown has brought some unforeseen changes and it has slowed down the sometimes frenetic pace of virtual dating – when it is difficult, or actually illegal, to take a promising relationship into the testing arena of real life, lockdown romances are unfolding slowly, as couples message, chat and FaceTime at a leisurely pace, slowly getting to know each other. This tantalising, drawn-out courtship ritual is, in some ways, decorously old-fashioned.
If you’re about to launch yourself into this world, make sure to research the plethora of apps and websites thoroughly before you commit. You will need to examine yourself and your aspirations honestly: are you looking for fun? A good time? Companionship? Long-term commitment? Many apps are free and fast-moving and hook-ups often go disastrously wrong for a host of reasons, and nobody cares because there are legions of new contenders available at the swipe of a screen. This can be intoxicating if you’re impetuous and adventurous, but more reticent, cautious people may feel that it is worthwhile investing in a more exclusive and selective site, where exhaustive questionnaires and complex algorithms seek to find the elusive perfect match.
Do’s and Don’ts
If all goes well, and one video call leads to another, you will be keen to meet in real life. In our restricted pandemic world the most socially acceptable way to do so is to go for a walk together (suitably socially distanced) and we thoroughly recommend this as your first date. You will enjoy fresh air and exercise and can get to know each other in relaxed circumstances, far removed from the pressure of candlelit dinners à deux and intimate conversations.
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and a frenzy of flower-giving is about to begin. Flowers can be a perfect romantic gift, but we are no longer particularly conversant with the language of flowers, or floriography, which became a passion in Victorian England. In a society where courtship was highly circumscribed by draconian rules of etiquette, presenting a love object with a carefully-chosen bouquet was an eloquent way of declaring passionate, and possibly clandestine, feelings. The recipient could pore over any number of interpretative books, such as Elizabeth Wirt’s Flora Dictionary (1829) and draw her own conclusions.
Today, our gifts of flowers will no longer be subject to such forensic scrutiny. However, flowers do have symbolic meanings, and a well-prepared suitor may do well to bear these in mind. A safe default is roses, and there is a general agreement that no recipient will misinterpret a large bouquet of blood-red roses, but some more adventurous romantics will resist the cliché and stray further afield.
When selecting your Valentine’s bouquet, consider the following options:
Roses are the most popular Valentine’s Day gift, but the colour of the blooms is also significant.
In general, red flowers tend to denote love and passion, while pink is a tribute to femininity, and white/cream signifies purity and innocence. It is considered that the yellow/orange end of the colour spectrum expresses enthusiasm, energy, joy and new beginnings. Whatever you choose, observe the following etiquette.
Our current circumstances are certainly challenging and it is very hard, and possibly somewhat irritating, to project a relentlessly positive and optimistic persona. It is much more natural to enjoy a good moan, but proceed with caution.
Moaning is inevitably a reaction to ephemeral difficulties, daily irritations and frustrations. It is perfectly natural to moan when you’re left hanging on a phone for hours waiting for a customer adviser, when the train is held up by signalling problems, when your car battery dies on you, or you’re stuck in the freezing cold waiting for your belated lift to turn up. But moaning is not an appropriate reaction when more important issues are at stake: a long queue outside the supermarket in this lockdown era is a sign that everybody’s safety is being taken seriously, and it would be churlish to complain because you, like everybody else, have to wait. In those circumstances, other people may find your moaning insensitive and unwarranted.
Many of us who feel frustrated or wearied by the dreariness of the current lockdown find a generalised whinge highly therapeutic. It feels good to hunker down with a friend and share your sense of disgruntlement. But the emphasis here is on sharing – a moaning monologue is a conversation-killer. All conversation is about talking and listening, so remember that other people also have lots to grumble about and will appreciate an attentive and engaged audience.
Be very careful about your chosen moaning partner. It’s fine to dissect your day-to-day grievances with someone who broadly shares your circumstances, but nobody who is experiencing real adversity will want to hear your litany of complaints. The problems of home-schooling a recalcitrant five-year-old, landing a supermarket delivery slot, or deciding whether it’s wise to book a summer holiday, will hardly seem significant to someone who is coping with job loss, illness or bereavement.
As always, good manners dictate that you are sensitive to those around you and perceptive about the impact you have on other people. Moaning is highly enjoyable, but reserve it for minor impediments not major tragedies.
It’s late January, the weather is grim, the country is in lockdown. Have you already stumbled at the first hurdle? Have your New Year’s resolutions already disintegrated? Perhaps you vowed to maintain a dry January, but you’ve already had recourse to the red wine. Or maybe your plan to compensate for closed gyms with a vigorous daily jog have ended in inertia and sofa-bound self-reproach?
Maybe you’re not the problem and it’s the ritual that needs reviewing. We understand the ‘new year, new start’ symbolism of the annual resolution, but is January – surely one of the most depressing months of the year – the best time to embark on a journey of arduous self-improvement?
Maybe one thing that lockdown has taught us is that human beings are highly adaptable, able to accommodate all kinds of strange new customs, from social distancing to mask wearing, when we can understand that it is imperative to do so. We should therefore be able to set ourselves goals and targets when it is best to do so, and when the circumstances of our lives will support, rather than undermine, our efforts.
It is important to be attuned to the activities that are making us miserable. If your default lockdown activity is binge-watching box sets and it makes you feel guilty and worthless, then it might be time to make a resolution to spend at least a couple of evenings a week enjoying something else, for example a Zoom meeting with friends or a good book.
As with all resolutions and targets, it is best to set yourself goals that are attainable, so that you will have the pleasure of achieving them. If your targets are modest you can always upgrade them and set yourself goals that are slightly more difficult to achieve. The important thing is to be flexible and self-aware.
New Year’s resolutions are a social pitfall. People will ask if you’ve made any, or you may find yourself telling people about your projected programme of self-improvement, which can easily turn into virtue-signalling; your resolutions may well make other people feel bad about their own lack of discipline and resolve. When you fail to achieve your stated objectives you will find yourself having to explain to friends and family and that’s just embarrassing.
The prime function of this time-honoured celebration of gastronomy and poetry is to pay tribute to the Scottish national poet, Robbie Burns (1759–96). It was first held on 25 January 1801, on Robbie Burns’s birthday.
A lockdown Burns Night, conducted on Zoom or similar, certainly presents challenges, but it also gives every guest the opportunity to contribute, rather than passively observe. Always, the onus falls on the ‘chairman’, who will have to make every effort beforehand to ensure that the event runs smoothly.
He or she will have to send out invitations, and also a detailed running order for the gathering, with specific roles and contributions assigned to each guest. Bear in mind that a video call can be an intense experience, so it is probably a good idea to set strict time limits on every contribution.
A virtual experience will certainly take the focus off the gastronomic element of the evening, though enthusiastic consumption of Scotch whisky is de rigueur. It will be up to each guest how strictly they observe time-honoured culinary traditions – such as cock-a-leekie soup and haggis, neeps and tatties. However, it is essential that the chairman follows gastronomic protocols.
Wear at least a bit of tartan – a hat, a tie, a scarf, or even a full kilt (though you’ll have to stand up to model it!)
Above all, relax and enjoy a convivial evening, which celebrates the spirit of the Bard and good fellowship. It will be a fitting antidote to lockdown blues.
Burns Night Itinerary
Gathering
All join the call, have a quick catch-up, admire each other’s tartan and raise a glass.
The Selkirk Grace
The host/chairman offers an opening grace. Ideally at this point the participants will enjoy their soup; we recommend Cock-a-leekie, a delicious broth of poached chicken, leeks and prunes:
Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.
Parade of the Haggis
Traditionally the haggis is piped in on a silver platter, accompanied by the chef. On this occasion the chairman may play some appropriate music to announce the commencement of the main course, but not before the…
Address to a Haggis
A designated addresser should now embark on a spirited rendition of Burns’s poem ‘Address to a Haggis’ (or an edited version of it) before the chairman slices his haggis open.
The Toast
A simple toast to ‘The Haggis’, with raised glasses, and the meal is ready to begin.
Immortal Memory
It is now time for a designated speaker to deliver the Immortal Memory address, which outlines the story of Robert Burns and looks his work, ideally highlighting aspects that are relevant to the assembled participants. A further toast to the ‘immortal memory of the Bard of Ayr’ finished this part of the evening.
The Entertainment
Songs, music and readings should now follow and participants should read works of their own choosing – they do not have to be exclusively by Burns, they may be works of other Scottish poets or stories and anecdotes about his life. During this phase of the evening guests can eat pudding (perhaps a Tipsy Laird, which is a Scottish sherry trifle), or enjoy cheese with bannocks (oatcakes) and yet more whisky. This is the point when, particularly on Zoom, the chairman must assert his authority, ensuring that every speaker is given his/her allocated slot, and is not interrupted when speaking
Toast to the Lassies
This is a light-hearted tribute to the ladies, which pokes affectionate fun at their various foibles and eccentricities, while making occasional reference to the work of Robbie Burns. It should end on a conciliatory note with a toast ‘to the lassies’.
Reply from the Lassies
This should be a witty rejoinder, which decries the men’s social inferiority and lack of refinement. Reference should be made to the Bard, perhaps a wry comparison with the men of the day. It should end on a complimentary note.
Closing Remarks
The Chairman thanks the guests for their attendance and good company, and now is a suitable time for a designated guest to voice general thanks for the Chairman’s efforts, proposing a final toast to the Chairman.
Auld Lang Syne
Before finally switching off for the night a rousing rendition of this sentimental Scottish song will cause general hilarity, especially if plenty of whisky has been consumed (make sure that all the guests have been circulated with the words, which no one can actually remember!).
Are January blues stealing your productivity and focus? In years gone by we might have explored how January blues are almost entirely psychological, with the post-Christmas comedown, shorter days and colder/wetter weather being contributing factors. However, in January 2021 it’s safe to say that, between juggling working from home, childcare, Covid-19 and lockdown, we all have plenty on our plates and motivation is lacking. We’ve jotted down some quick tips to boost productivity for the rest of the month and beyond.
Set yourself bite-size, achievable tasks
A massive killer of motivation is lack of success. If you set yourself a mammoth task then you’ll ultimately end up working for a long period of time with little reward. But if you break up the task, and set yourself smaller goals within the larger task, you’ll find that you’re constantly achieving, and this will massively aid motivation and keep you on track.
Celebrate the wins, no matter how small
In an office environment it’s extremely rare not to share success stories. This doesn’t necessarily mean ringing a bell or fist-pumping your way to the coffee machine, but often simply telling your desk neighbour and enjoying the ‘well done’ that you get in return. This is fantastic for work morale, so why should it change at home? While we wouldn’t advise calling you former desk neighbour, who is also working from home, to tell them the news, take a celebratory 5-minute break, tell your partner, tell your children, or tell your dog. It sounds a little silly, but sharing successes reaffirms your role and allows you to avoid the monotony of completing task after task with no positive feedback or reward.
Give Zoom a break
When the pandemic first struck businesses quickly migrated to video conference. Whilst not as good as actual face to face communication it was an easy way of connecting lots of people at one time. However, it’s safe to say that the (fleeting) novelty has now worn off. Nowadays Zoom can be stressful for some with the requirement to keep dogs, children and spouses in check and a whole day on Zoom can be exhausting and not hugely productive. Phone calls are less demanding and emails better still. Why not mix it up and save the Zoom call for when it’s really needed?
Set yourself a finishing time
A Bloomberg study found that the pandemic work day is on average 47 minutes longer than previously. Although it’s easy to briefly log back on whilst dinner is in the oven or the bath is running, this sends you hurtling towards a burnout and the feeling that work is taking over your life with seemingly no escape. Some industries require employees to be on call at all hours, but for those that don’t, be disciplined with yourself. Keep the laptop closed and turn off notifications to ensure that your downtime stays sacred.
Focus on yourself
When working from home it’s easy to convince yourself that you’re working much harder than your colleagues. You noticed that Bernard didn’t reply to your 9am email until 11am, which naturally means he had a lie in and didn’t log on until mid-morning! Often this is totally incorrect, but as we’re working in our own little bubbles, we can easily find ourselves getting slightly frustrated with colleagues who appear not to be pulling their weight. Our advice: don’t worry about it. Although easier said than done, focussing on yourself and ensuring that you’re performing to the best of your ability will not only aid productivity, but will free up the fraction of mental bandwidth that was previously used for being annoyed for more productive purposes.
Now we know what you’re thinking; late for what exactly? But in the current lockdown it is more important than ever not to let your standards slip. This applies particularly to punctuality.
With oceans of stay-at-home time ahead of us and normal working patterns suspended for many, it’s easy to conclude timing isn’t really a priority. But failing to be punctual is the height of bad manners because it disregards the value of other people’s time.
Now, more than ever, you should demonstrate that you value other people’s lockdown time by always fulfilling promises and being ready promptly for pre-arranged Zoom chats, FaceTime or simply telephone calls. You will come across as someone who cares about other people and is efficient, organised and reliable. If unforeseen circumstances intervene and you are delayed, send a quick text and apology, which demonstrates that you have not forgotten. Always remember that your promised contact might be a lifeline, or at the very least a major highlight, for someone who is struggling with lockdown blues or loneliness. And you will benefit too, as adhering meticulously to social commitments will give some shape and structure to our increasingly formless days.
