Whether it’s a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates or a pair of cufflinks, re-gifting is the art of passing on a present that was originally given to you by someone else. In a world of waste and excess, there is a legitimate argument for recycling in this way. How much better to give that sequinned sweater to a flamboyant friend than to leave it languishing unworn at the back of your wardrobe?
The theory has logic, but the practice has to be watertight. No one must ever know: not the original giver nor the next-in-line receiver. Ensure that the receiver is at least six degrees separated from the giver, and that the ‘re-gift’ is shop-fresh and unmarked.
Check the present has not been personalised in any way by the original giver – it’s hard to recover if your recipient discovers your initials monogrammed in the corner of that silk scarf you’ve just given them. Finally, be careful not to boast – never tell anyone about your talent for re-gifting. They’ll never give you anything and will be forever suspicious about their own presents from you. And don’t present the re-gift with too much flourish, just in case. Recycling and economising are all very well, but deep down, you know that what you are doing is … cheap.
Taking the time to write when you have received a present, hospitality or some other kindness, reassures the giver that their efforts are appreciated. A handwritten letter or card is preferable to an email or text message, but digital thanks are better than none. Christmas is an occasion when you are likely to receive a number of presents, so, make a note of who gave what and try to commit it to memory. Parents should write thank you letters on behalf of their children until the children are old enough to do so, when they should be encouraged to write themselves. Letters or cards should be sent as promptly as possible, but when it comes to saying thank you, late is invariably better than never.
With regard to structure, we have found that a five-step approach should cover all bases. Start with a general thanks, before moving on to a more specific thanks (explaining why the present was a good choice), news or general chat (often simply summarising your Christmas Day), further news (a brief update on work, university, or school perhaps), before repeating the thanks and signing off.
Penhaligon’s is a British heritage brand with a history dating back to 1870; it has Royal Warrants from both the Duke of Edinburgh (1956) and Prince of Wales (1988) and is a proud supplier of bespoke fragrances to the royal family. For 150 years Penhaligon’s has been an innovative creator of fragrances, firmly believing in the extraordinary power of perfume to boost confidence, project personality and enhance mood.
When is it appropriate to give a fragrance? Everyone has unique tastes and preferences and it may seem presumptuous to choose a new fragrance for someone else. Penhaligon’s has solved this problem by introducing two virtual services, ideal for social distancing: a digital profiling questionnaire or a video fragrance consultation. Either of these services will send your loved one on a personal journey of discovery.
So what are Penhaligon's top tips?
For recipients where you’re not sure what to buy, bath and body product, or soap, is always a good option. The classic choice is Blenheim bouquet, commissioned by the 9th Duke of Marlborough; Quercus is fresh and woody; Halfeti makes a bolder statement.
If you’re uncertain about making a choice for people you’re close to. try giving a Scent Library (an inspiring selection of ten fragrances), or give your recipient the chance to sample an inviting range of five fragrances with a Mini Him/Mini Her gift set.
Try the Penhaligon’s Digital Fragrance Profiler. If you’re buying for another person you will need to feel confident that you know their tastes (in fabrics, drinks, holiday locations as well as fragrances) very well indeed. You’ll be given a headline choice, as well as a selection of three further fragrances, and you can order samples, with promises of more substantial goodies down the line.
For an individual and nuanced approach to fragrance, purchase a gift voucher for a Video Fragrance Consultation appointment online (the cost of £15 is redeemable against the product). Your recipient fills in a fragrance questionnaire and waits to receive five targeted samples. At the ensuing virtual appointment a fragrance expert will talk them through the selection while they make their choice.
Good luck and happy gifting!
Aptly named the ‘silly season’, the run-up to Christmas is usually the time when businesses throw caution to the wind on the hosting front. Strengthening relationships and having fun tend to come to the fore, while belt holes and expense slips are January’s problem.
That said, 2020 hasn’t been a normal year, and as a result this year’s ‘silly season’ is likely to be much more subdued. So how can you continue to build rapport and have a few laughs with your valued clients in the time of scotch eggs and face masks? We spoke with some of our clients to see how they’re navigating the Covid/networking/Christmas minefield and looked at their favourite alternatives.
A 1:1 drink:
This was a laughable concept in 2019 when the festive merriment of Leadenhall Market could probably be heard from London Bridge, but with tier rules in place and the City much quieter than in previous years, an outdoor beer (or two, with a substantial meal) is one of the best options. Certainly, drinking less and fewer distractions may put more pressure on conversation, but this could also be valuable facetime for rapport building. Arranging to meet somewhere convenient for both parties (not necessarily in the centre of town if working from home) helps to lower the formality and reduce the ‘corporate’ feel.
Gifting:
Another popular choice is to opt out of festive hosting altogether, and instead spend the money that you would have gladly lavished on drink on a thoughtful gift (regulations permitting). This completely avoids the post-invitation awkwardness that your client may feel about explicitly acknowledging that he/she doesn’t want to meet for a drink owing to Covid restrictions. Your gift – perhaps a Christmas hamper or selection of wine – will not just benefit the client, but can be enjoyed by their family as well. A friendly note about catching up for dinner in the New Year wouldn’t go amiss.
Zoom drinks:
To be avoided where possible. For internal teams, family and friends, Zoom drinks are still a good option for socialising at a distance (although a touch tiresome at this point). But for clients and external parties, the term ‘organised fun’ springs to mind, and it can be trickier than you might think to strike the correct tone. Instead, perhaps arrange a relaxed pre-Christmas Zoom catch-up where the agenda is brief and you’re able to discuss a little business before moving onto festive plans etc. Make arrangements for this call relaxed and informal, and don’t be offended if it is postponed in favour of more pressing business. If that does happen, pop something in the post and make a loose plan for 2021.
News that we can spend time with loved ones over Christmas will be welcome for many of us, but the social challenges of the past year might also make the prospect of hosting a festive gathering seem even more daunting than usual. From cooking fails to drunk guests, we've shared some common Christmas pitfalls – and how to avoid them.
1.) The diverging dietary requirements
Trying to accommodate a range of special diets and food intolerances can leave even the most creative of chefs at a loss for ideas. Now is the time to accept any offers to contribute to the meal (and if none are forthcoming, a tactful 'I love that quinoa salad you make' might prompt one). Otherwise, choose a few simple, fresh dishes that won't overburden you with work, while ensuring that everyone is catered for.
2.) The kitchen disaster
Certain culinary mistakes can be glossed over with enough bravado and some decorative salad leaves, but for truly catastrophic cooking (turkey still frozen inside, potatoes burnt to a cinder) you'll need a Plan B. The worst eventuality is to leave your guests hungry, so keep some easily reheated staples stashed away in the freezer - a casserole, stew or pie - and serve them with confidence: don't feel you have to apologise. Alternatively, call a reliable local takeaway.
3.) The unexpected plus-one
You've carefully plated up six starters when your sister arrives with a new partner in tow - and uninvited. Although the faux pas is technically your sister's, you'll have to smile graciously and welcome the extra as if you'd been expecting them all along. Then get back to the kitchen pronto for some hasty rearrangement.
4.) The underwhelming gift
Whether it's a hideous scarf or some out-of-date liqueurs, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a frankly terrible gift making it under the tree. But revealing anything other than unbridled joy as you open it could cause offence, especially if the giver put a lot of time and effort into choosing something. So dig deep, act delighted and say thank you.
5.) The drunk and disorderly guest
If a drunk guest's behaviour is making you or others feel uncomfortable, you're well within your rights to get them an Uber and send them home.
For those still teetering on the acceptable side of tipsy, administer carbs (mince pies, turkey sandwiches, leftover roast potatoes) and encourage them to drink plenty of water between alcoholic drinks.
6.) The forgotten present
A neighbour pops round with a thoughtful homemade present, but you've completely neglected to buy them anything in return. There's no point trying to improvise by grabbing a bottle of Prosecco from the rack – just apologise and buy them an extra nice post-Christmas present to make up for it. If it's a teenage niece or nephew who's been unintentionally overlooked, some cash hastily slipped into an envelope will usually compensate.
While we await full details of our festive fate, one thing's for sure: this year will be a Christmas like no other.
Whether we're required to stick to our 'households' or are permitted to mix in small numbers, the etiquette questions are numerous. How much Zoom is too much Zoom? If you can invite guests, should you feel obliged to do so? And if you can't, is it OK to stay in your pyjamas all day?
Here are our five tips for surviving Christmas 2020:
This year has been nothing if not unpredictable, so stay calm and adaptable in the face of last-minute changes of plan. Have back-up supplies in the freezer and Deliveroo on speed-dial in case you're suddenly allowed extra guests, but don't feel you have to invite your full complement just because you can - it's fine to keep it low-key if that's what you'd prefer.
If guests have to cancel at the eleventh hour, whether because they've been asked to self-isolate or have got cold feet about a social gathering, be magnanimous despite the inevitable disappointment. You might have bought in shed-loads of smoked salmon, but it's better that everyone feels safe. Express your regret and send your best wishes - then loosen your belt and prepare to eat two portions of turkey instead of one.
A household-only Christmas for you might mean two adults, three children and a cat, but for others it could mean staying at home alone. Before getting down to the absorbing business of lunch and presents, consider neighbours and friends who live alone and give them a call or a socially-distanced door knock - it could make all the difference to their Christmas.
Similarly, if you are able to enjoy a family gathering, be sensitive about sharing endless joyful pictures on social media when others might be shielding or unable to celebrate as they’d wish.
Designate some screen-free time on Christmas Day so that you can focus on the day itself. Keep phones out of sight during the main meal - no WhatsApping over Christmas dinner - and as lovely as a big family meal can be, piling into turkey and all the trimmings over Google Meet is perhaps a step too far – there’s no need to watch each other chewing parsnips.
If restrictions allow, take the celebrations outdoors: pack a Christmas picnic hamper for al fresco festivities with friends or family. Remember extra layers, a plastic-backed rug, wellies and a flask of mulled wine or hot chocolate. Even if guidelines change, fresh air is always a great cure for the ‘Twixtmas’ slump between Christmas and New Year.
At a time when nothing is certain, there is comfort in ritual and traditions, so consider your favourite parts of Christmases past and adapt accordingly. Whether that means an all-family game of charades over Zoom or getting dressed up in some sequinned finery despite the fact that you're staying at home, it will help to make the day as memorable and special as normal. And while digital communication has been a lifeline this year, make time for handwritten Christmas cards and thank you letters, too.
Alongside darker evenings and the promise of the festive season, there's another late-autumn landmark: Movember, when men get experimental with their grooming routines and grow whiskers and a beard (or shaggier forms of facial hair!) to support charities focusing on men’s health.
Letting one’s facial hair grow is an undeniable commitment and not an easy affair – it requires patience and dedication. But hirsute faces do not have to mean unkempt ones. If you're growing out your facial hair this month, remember that it needs just as much upkeep and attention as a clean-shaven jaw line.
‘It is a different look, but not an easier one’, points out Michael Symeon, one of Truefitt & Hill’s Master Barbers, when asked about experimenting with this trend. Even if you have sported a beard for a while, there are certain tricks of the trade which should be adhered to and with which you might not be familiar. Here, Michael lends his advice on how to ensure that your facial hair is on point as your follicles sprout new growth.
‘Men can sometimes assume that because they are growing out a beard, they don’t have to visit a barbershop, but this misconception could not be further from the truth – you still need professional maintenance and advice every once in a while’, says Michael. The chance to work from home this year has meant that many men have devoted more of their time to experimenting with growing out their moustaches and beards. Unfortunately they have not always achieved the desired, well-polished result.
A regular check-in at a barbershop is crucially important in keeping a flawless, polished look. Michael recommends having your beard professionally looked after at least every 4-5 weeks, and maintaining the growth in between appointments at home. Paying the barber a visit is especially important when you are growing your stubble for the first time as you may be unaccustomed to your freshly grown beard's texture and consistency – be it wiry or fine – and an experienced barber can not only refine, define and style your bristles but also recommend appropriate products that help you to continue his good work at home.
Even if your razor is temporarily redundant, your bathroom cabinet should be equipped with a variety of other tools. Consider investing in a beard or moustache comb, as well as a small beard brush and beard trimmers. Use them to keep your stubble precise and uniform, and remember to direct the comb and brush in a downwards motion. Truefitt’s Ox Horn Beard Brush and Moustache Comb are the perfect tools to aid you in that, and their pocket size will allow you to keep both on your person when you are out and about. Ensure you start brushing your beard early, before it reaches the ‘wild and bushy’ stage, Michael advises: ‘It will be much easier to manage as it grows.'
The next pivotal step in your grooming regime is deciding whether to use a beard balm or a beard oil.
Truefitt’s Gentleman’s Beard Balm, which is made from 100% natural ingredients, is easily absorbed and creates a natural, matte look. Its unique formula will nourish and soften even the toughest bristles, and because it holds more weight, it is perfectly suited for shorter, more fulsome beards.
Their Gentleman’s Beard Oil, on the other hand, leaves a shinier coating and is an excellent product for longer beards. Expertly blended with the finest natural oils, such as coconut, avocado, jojoba, and argan, it serves to reduce irritation as well as condition and nourish hair and skin alike. It is especially renowned for its ability to prevent bristles from becoming wiry and for keeping the beard neatly tamed and perfectly styled.
There are certain problem areas to keep in mind to ensure that your beard looks refined rather than uneven and unkempt, says Michael. ‘Length doesn’t matter so much in terms of tidiness, but if your neck area is not meticulously looked after, the beard can look dishevelled and very scruffy. Whatever the length of your beard, it should be uniform from the Adam’s apple to the jawline, and a trimmer should be used to keep it so.'
Keep your cheeks clean-shaven and bear in mind that clean, defined edges really matter, so use a razor, such as Truefitt's Wellington Double Edge Razor, to keep uneven stubble on your cheeks in line. ‘One wise rule of thumb is to carve a straight line from your moustache upwards on each side, keeping it as close as possible to the natural hairline,’ says Michael.
Even the simplest moustache needs attention, as it requires regular trimming to keep it off the lips. ‘Whatever your tools – whether you opt for scissors or razor – use great care here’, warns Michael. In order to keep your whiskers handsomely groomed, part the moustache in the middle and comb in each direction to keep it tidy, rather than brushing it directly down. This rule applies to most styles, but be mindful of more theatrical variations. ‘If you are going for a shape such as handlebar or horseshoe, wax is needed to give it shape otherwise your moustache will definitely go awry,’ he says. Keep your 'tash in place with Truefitt's Gentleman’s Moustache Wax, which combines beeswax and shea butter to condition and soften the bristles and offers an excellent mouldable hold that for a controlled and well-groomed look.
Suitably informed and suitably armed with the right products and the right tools, your facial hair will have a statesmanlike quality and you will be able to avoid that all-too common downfall – an unkempt, slovenly look never sported by a true gentleman.
Stir-up Sunday is a date in late November when the Christmas pudding mixture would traditionally be combined and stirred to give it time to mellow and mature before Christmas. The phrase originates from the collect in the Book of Common prayer that was read on the last Sunday before Advent. it is said that church-goers heard the words ‘Stir up, we beseech thee’ and were inspired to start on their Christmas puddings.
Everyone in the family would take a turn to stir the Christmas pudding mixture, with the youngest child going first, always stirring from east to west in honour of the magi. Charms were also included in the mixture, the most popular being a silver coin that would signify a year of wealth for the lucky recipient.
Remember August? We could socialise indoors! Stay out past 10pm! Hug our parents! Implausible as it may seem now, many of us were also resuming our daily commutes and seeing our colleagues in person again.
Now it’s back to home-working for many of the UK’s office-based employees. With days also becoming shorter, and as we approach the time of year formerly known as ‘Christmas party season’, many of us may be feeling even more frustrated or isolated than during the nationwide lockdown in spring.
It can be hard to remain positive in the face of ever-shifting circumstances and daily news reports of mass redundancies and firm closures, with a recent survey revealing that 76% of HR professionals found that maintaining employee morale has been either “somewhat” or “very” challenging. If you’re struggling to keep spirits up at work, we’ve shared 4 tips for keeping your staff (and yourself) motivated during the winter months:
1. Schedule regular check-ins
When your inbox is heaving and you’re working in isolation, it’s tempting to remain focused on your tasks and forget to check in with colleagues. According to Shalini Khemka, CEO of the small business forum E2E, however, it’s important to keep in regular contact, “not only to catch up as you would usually in the office, but also to make sure you are supporting your staff and listening so that they are able to work to the best of their ability.”
To ensure you’re giving staff opportunities to communicate and share any challenges, schedule regular check-ins in advance (one-to-one chats as well as group calls). These don’t have to disrupt your day: a 10-minute phone call is often as productive as an hour-long Zoom meeting, and leaves you free to get on with your respective to-do lists.
Consider new ways to communicate, too: group WhatsApp chats and platforms like Slack offer quick, informal ways of asking for help and keeping in touch. Finally, remember to provide frequent, encouraging feedback. You might assume it goes unsaid, but that quick “This is great – thank you!” email could make all the difference to a colleague's day.
2. Show your support
It’s not enough to put a weekly catch-up in the diary – it’s important to demonstrate your support, too. According to Sajda Mughal, the founder and CEO of charity Jan Trust, good leadership means “extending further empathy to colleagues and understanding extra difficulties they may be facing during this time.”
Offering support may be as simple as providing a sympathetic listening ear, or it may mean taking practical measures such as ordering special equipment to make home working easier. Knowing we have an advocate who will take action on our behalf is often as important for employee morale as the action itself.
3. Stay social
You might want to leave Zoom quizzes firmly in April, but the opportunity to take part in social events (albeit virtual ones) may be a lifeline for others on your team. Planning a few fun activities – Halloween-themed drinks or a Thanksgiving supper club – outside of office hours also reminds you of each other’s human sides, easing communication when you’re back on task.
As Shalini Khemka puts it, “Team socials have helped staff stay motivated – on a Friday evening we’ll have a drink together. We’ve done more social activity on a regular basis than we would have done historically, albeit digitally, because it has had to be built into the diary rather than done in an impromptu way.”
Do, however, make it clear that any socialising is strictly optional – some people might find screentime in the evening as well as during the day a further source of stress.
4. Be transparent
Your instinct might be to protect staff from bad news or potential disruption, but they will inevitably have a sense of any major changes taking place behind the scenes. Trying to hide issues until strictly necessary can often prove counterproductive. According to Brigit Bloch, the founder of Brigit’s Bakery, a Covent Garden-based café which had to close completely during the spring, “We’ve been as transparent as possible with our teams to keep them abreast of all changes as soon as we know.”
Keeping staff broadly informed about the company’s financial position or performance puts any repercussions in context and lets them know that consequent measures should not be taken personally. Offering fair warning is also a way of minimising shock in the event of redundancy or pay cuts, and allows individuals to make contingency plans if necessary.
Coming in top of sentences we never thought we’d type, it’s now illegal to socialise with more than five other people. But how can you stick to the new ‘Rule of 6’ without offending your friends? As meeting up becomes more complicated than ever, here are some simple steps to keeping your social life intact:
1.) Be honest
You’d planned a birthday party in the park, but the new rule has scuppered it. Secretly trying to rearrange it with only your favourite five guests could cause offence if you’re inadvertently outed to those who didn’t make the cut. Instead, contact all those invited to let them know the new plan: whether you have to cancel, postpone until the rule is eased, or arrange several smaller gatherings over the course of a few weekends instead.
2.) Go it alone
While there’s a limit on individuals, there’s no such restriction on the number of ‘households’ allowed to meet up. If you’ve got a partner or family, we’re guessing you’ve seen enough of them over the last few months, so the new rule could be an opportunity to leave them behind for a day or evening and reconnect with friends.
3.) Don’t expect others to bend the rules
Packing a rugby ball doesn’t turn a picnic into organised sport; nor do we recommend buying a whiteboard to pretend that your living room is an educational setting. However creative it might be, suggesting a workaround to allow more people to attend your gathering could make others feel uncomfortable. Even if you’re prepared to bend the rules, don’t expect others to do so.
4.) Make the most of it
There’s a lot to be said for small gatherings: they’re easier to manage, more intimate, and give you a chance to speak to everyone properly. So while there’s a genuine, enforceable-by-law reason to keep it selective, make the most of it. For that sprawling family Christmas, there’s always 2021…
