When my brother asked me to be his best man, I was incredibly honoured – and completely terrified. Along with organising an unforgettable stag do and remembering the rings, I knew I would have to make a speech – something I’ve avoided doing since my performance as the Innkeeper in a school nativity at the age of 8 (a long story, but safe to say it scarred me for life).

Even the prospect of a public speaking course was about as appealing as the Victoria Line during rush hour, but I realised I had to do something if I was going to justify my brother’s faith in me. So a few months ago, one Thursday evening after work, I joined a public speaking course with Debrett’s.

The prospect of a public speaking course was about as appealing as the Victoria Line during rush hour

The group was fairly small – there were only 6 of us – and very friendly. There was a start-up founder due to deliver a pitch to investors, and  charity fundraiser whose promotion meant he had to speak to rooms full of potential donors.

The session was led by Rupert Wesson, who heads up the Debrett’s Academy and happens to specialise in public speaking. We started with the trickiest part – how to banish nerves and appear confident (but not over-confident), and learned about the psychological effect of smiling and the importance of pauses.

We then moved on to cover some more technical topics, such as how to lay out notes, how to use visual aids, and how to deal with Q and As. While not all of this applied to my best man’s speech, I could see how it could be useful for work.

Rupert told us that it didn’t matter if we were reliant on notes or a script – that thorough preparation would stand us in much better stead than trying to ad-lib. One of my favourite tips was learning how to speak away from the page rather than reading directly from it, enabling us to make eye contact with our audience for longer periods.

There was plenty of opportunity for us all to practice, and because we were all ‘in it together’, this didn’t feel as intimidating as I had expected. We were also given a handbook to take away with us, with room for notes, which made it easier to go back and review some of the things I had learned afterwards.

When the day itself finally came around, I can’t pretend I didn’t feel nervous, but it wasn’t like the dread that had been hanging over me before the course. A small part of me was even a bit excited.

When the day itself finally came around, I was nervous but excited

Mercifully, the speeches were at the beginning of the meal rather than the end, and as per Rupert’s advice, I stuck to just one glass of champagne during the reception.

As my brother sat down to thunderous applause, meaning it was my turn, there was a brief and horrifying moment where my mind went completely blank. But I remembered Rupert’s advice and paused for a couple of moments, smiling at the audience (most of whom were smiling back), and in that moment I realised that they were all on my side.

The seven-and-a-half minutes seemed to fly by, and before I knew it, I was inviting people to charge their glasses, and my brother was hugging me, and I could finally relax and enjoy my smoked salmon starter (and about nine more glasses of champagne...)

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]In the beginning there’s a flurry of excitement: a new WhatsApp group! Dinner and drinks? Count me in! Weeks later, and the group in question is no closer to arranging a date, but it has analysed every episode of Love Island in forensic detail. You'd like to put a stop to the onslaught of messages and extricate yourself from the conversation. But what is the etiquette of leaving a WhatsApp group? Here are a few ways to take back control:

1.The Abrupt Exit

The Abrupt Exit is swift and effective. Without so much as a farewell, you simply exit the group, leaving the other members to try and figure out what they might have done wrong. It won’t make you any friends, but it will get you out of ‘Majorca 2019’ in a matter of seconds.

2. The Grovelling Exit

You preface your departure with a big apology, perhaps blaming your burgeoning admin load or an inability to contribute fully to the conversation. Whatever you do, don’t wait around for responses – once you’ve announced your exit, get the hell out of there.

3. The 'Little White Lie' Exit

‘Hi guys, I’m about to update my phone, which might mean I’m offline for a bit. Be back soon!’ Technically, it’s a lie, but this way nobody’s feelings get hurt – right? Maybe so, but be prepared to find yourself right back where you started within a couple of hours, having been reinstated by the person who made you join the group in the first place.

4. The Non-exit

You can’t quite bring yourself to leave altogether, so instead you mute the chat to spare yourself the distraction of an ever-illuminating phone screen. The Non-exit is a legitimate compromise, but don’t forget to check in fairly frequently in case you’ve been asked a question – not responding for 48 hours might give the game away…[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Over the last fortnight, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have been welcoming visitors to meet their new son, Archie.

The first few weeks after a baby is born are a special time, but they can also be exhausting and stressful. So what should you bear in mind when visiting a newborn? We've compiled a few dos and don'ts:

• DO bring food: whether it’s a packet of biscuits or a lasagne to stick in the freezer, edible provisions will ease some of the burden of shopping, cooking or finding something to serve guests.
• DON’T bring your own small children, unless they are guaranteed to behave. A grabby toddler, however loved, may become a further source of stress for already-stressed new parents.
• DO admire the baby’s name – even if it’s Bilberry Meadowsweet. Ditto its looks, however reminiscent of a potato.
• DON’T visit if you have a heavy cold or other contagious illness.
• DO help to make tea and wash up.
• DON’T wear strong fragrance. It’s disconcerting for a parent to find their newborn reeks of Chanel No. 5 after a day of cuddles.
• DO resist giving advice, unless it is explicitly asked for. However well intended, you risk causing serious offence by correcting a new parent’s way of holding/ feeding/ winding/ dressing their child.
• DON’T stay too long. New parents may be entertaining a steady stream of visitors, so a policy of short-but-sweet is usually a safe bet.

Any advice we've missed? Share yours in the comments below.

As media anticipation reaches ever more giddy heights, the new baby son or daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex is expected to be announced any day now.

The birth of the new seventh in line to the throne is likely to hit the headlines within hours, but for the rest of us, what's the best way to spread the word about a new arrival?

Here are some simple steps when making that eagerly-awaited birth announcement:

1. First phone calls

Tell family and close friends first so that they don't accidentally hear about it from a third party. A phone call will be most reassuring, especially for new grandparents.

2. Sensitive sharing

Once you have shared the news with your immediate circle, you can update wider friendship groups via message chats and on social media. When doing so, consider those who may be trying to conceive or who are unable to have a child. You may wish to let them know individually first, rather than letting them find out via a celebratory post.

3. All the info

To avoid answering the same questions, include some basic information: the baby's weight and the time and date of birth, as well as the name (if you have chosen one).

4. Consider a card

Cards, often featuring a photograph of the baby, may be sent out a couple of weeks after the birth. They can also double-up as thank you cards for any presents sent to the baby.

5. Making it official

It might seem old-fashioned, but a newspaper announcement (traditionally in The Times or the Daily Telegraph) can make a lovely memento for posterity. The traditional wording is as follows:

Debrett - On 20th August to John and Charlotte (née Berkeley), a daughter, Caroline Jane

Unmarried couples or those with different surnames will use both parents' first names and surnames, while single parents may use only one parent's name in the announcement.

Are you hosting at home this Mothering Sunday or Easter? Do you see it as a chance to prove you're the perfect host? Or does it leave you with a feeling of dread?

Fret not, because we've put together a 7-step strategy for you to pull off the perfect dinner party.

1. Don't become a victim of vaunting ambition. Assess your culinary skills, budget and venue before tailoring your social occasion to fit your capabilities.
2. Make the nature of the event absolutely clear to your guests. They will feel understandably annoyed if they turn up to a formal dinner in jeans and trainers.
3. Ensure to ask guests if they have any allergies when sending out invitations and ensure that you have this in mind when buying ingredients & preparing food.
4. Remember that your primary role is to be the host. Attend to your guests at all times and don't allow yourself to be drawn into an intimate tête à tête with someone.
5. Have a seating plan. Even if it's an informal one in your head, explain to your guests where you'd like them to sit.
6. Work out your timings. Don't let drinks go on too long and ensure that food is ready when you call everyone to the table.
7. Deploy subtle hints by asking if anyone would like: cups of coffee, offers of taxi numbers or spare beds, if the evening is going on too long.

Best of luck with your next engagement and bon appétit!

The first of the Season's events, Cheltenham Festival is one of the more relaxed horse racing events as it does not have a formal dress code.

Taking place in March in the UK, it's wise to dress warmly. Here are our top tips on what to wear if you're planning on attending the Gold Cup on Friday the 15th of March.

• Although there's no formal dress code, smart outdoor winter dress is expected in the Club Enclosure.
• Men usually choose to show off their tweeds. A shooting jacket is a great option as it is both comfortable and warm.
• Wednesday is Ladies' Day and many complement their outfits with a hat. Currently in vogue are hats adorned with colourful pheasant tail feathers. Gents normally wear trilbys.
• Given that two-thirds of the car parks are on grass, ensure to wear suitable footwear. (Stilettos sink in the mud..)

Whatever your style, place your bets, relax and enjoy the racing, as the Season has officially begun!

Finally a positive eBay feedback story. Matt Shoukry in Missouri got a lot more for the old VHS player he sold on eBay than he expected. And we’re not talking about money.

The buyer of the VHS player was an 86-year-old man from Phoenix, Arizona, who decided to pick up a pen and write a handwritten note to Mr Shoukry thanking him for the joy it had brought him. In the letter, the octogenarian detailed how he had watched tapes from his 'retirement party from 25 years ago that I have never seen', as well as watching the 'gentle maturing of my family’.

The letter, which was uploaded to Twitter, has received over 300,000 likes and lots of responses from people wanting to share their own stories about small acts of kindness.

This example goes to show that it doesn't matter the number of 'likes' you get online, or even securing a '100% eBay feedback rating' on eBay, sometimes all it takes is one kind letter to touch the heart and warm the soul.

Read the BBC News article.

Are you confused by dating in the digital age? There was a time when dating simply involved submitting a personal ad to your local newspaper and knowing which three and four-letter acronyms to use. Or you'd just ask someone out for a drink.

One example of a personal ad may go something like: Scottish foodie, 42, with a GSOH WLTM an adventurous male for fine food and dining. LTR intended. 

But with the advent of the smart phone, the apps for dating in the digital age have now created an endless supply of Johns and Janes at your fingertips. Although, more choice does give way to the potential for more rejection. Below are just some of the new terms used in 2019 for online dating encounters. All definitions courtesy of urbandictionary.com.

1. Submarining: when you stop seeing someone and cut off all communication and then reappear after some time and act like nothing happened.
2. Ghosting: when a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating with zero warning or notice beforehand.
3. Orbiting: is when the person who 'ghosted' you, still hangs around by watching every single one of your Insta stories & liking your social media posts.
4. Breadcrumbing: when the 'crush' has no intention of taking things further, but continues to flirt by sending texts just to keep the person interested.
5. Stashing: when you're in a relationship with somebody & you refuse to introduce them to your friends & family; mostly because you view the person as temporary/replaceable.

Have you decided that 2019 is going to be the year you land your dream job? Good! Find out below how to write a CV.

You're not alone, January continues to be the busiest month of the year for job applications. So, how to write a CV that gets noticed and help you progress to the first round of interviews. Here are our top five tips:

1. Write a cover letter. So many candidates decide not to include one and this means they're not giving themselves the opportunity to highlight specific skills and experience from their CV. Attaching a cover letter also allows you to project your personality, as well as showing your knowledge of the company's recent news i.e. a merger with another business.

2. On average, a hiring manager looks at a CV from anything from six seconds to two minutes (if you're lucky!) Ensure that your CV is clear and has a logical format. It should highlight your skills, experience and achievements. Finally, make sure your CV shows you as human and someone who is sociable, flexible and that has interesting hobbies outside of work.

3. Be honest. The CV is a legally binding document, meaning that you can and will be removed from a role that you have bluffed your way into.

4. Include an opening statement and think of it as your elevator pitch. Concisely say who you are, what you do and how you do it. If you are writing a cover letter to accompany your CV, then you only need to create a new cover letter and tweak the opening statement on your CV for each application.

5. Finally and most importantly; don't use your CV to describe your roles in terms of goals and duties, most recruiters can guess them from your job title. You must talk about your accomplishments and how you personally made a difference in the role. This is what will get you to the interview and will help you sell yourself when you do.

Boost your confidence for interviews and land your dream job with expert training from Debrett's tutors. Call +44 (0)203 950 5240 to find out more.

Best of luck with your job search!

With whisky, bagpipes and poetry aplenty, a Burns Night supper is a lot of fun. Here's the traditional format for the evening in remembrance of the memory of Robert Burns, Scotland's most celebrated poet:

1. Before everyone sits down to eat, the host says the Selkirk Grace, attributed to Burns.

2. After the starter has been eaten, the haggis (a dish made from spices and minced sheep's heart and liver) is brought in, accompanied by the bagpipes playing. The host says the poem: Address to a Haggis, the haggis is toasted with whisky and the meal is served, then dessert.

3. The main speech at a Burns Night Supper, after the meal is the Immortal Memory, a tribute to Robert Burns. The host normally focuses on a part of Burns' life and speaks for 15 minutes. Subsequent speeches include a Toast to the Lassies, a reply to the Toast to the Lassies and a final Burns recital.

4. Once the host has thanked everyone, people stand to sing Auld Lang Syne, the song traditionally song on Hogmanay, or New Year's Eve, to welcome in the New Year.

Slàinte!