Restaurant culture in the UK is changing and some beleaguered chefs and restaurant owners are beginning to ask themselves the question: Is the customer always right? The world of online reviews is now shaping people’s restaurant experience and is certainly influencing how dining choices are made. The fact that a restaurant’s reputation can be demolished by a few seconds of malign keyboard tapping is changing the power balance, sometimes to everyone’s detriment.

There was a time when certain notorious gourmet chefs ruled the roost: customers’ food choices were questioned, special dietary requests were derided and a plea for salt and pepper was snootily denied. This was far from ideal, but with the increasing prevalence of online reviews and reputation management, the ball is now securely back in the customers’ court.

Many restaurateurs are reporting that customers are becoming increasingly stroppy. They are angry that the restaurant in real life does not match up to its website or Instagram images. They are annoyed that they have not been adequately warned about bus lanes, parking restrictions, and one-ways streets around the venue (not in the restaurant’s control). They are enraged by any discrepancies between online menus and the food that is served on the night. They criticise everything from décor and ambience to music and waiting staff.

It is theorised that some of this hyper-criticism is brought on by the rising costs of restaurant meals. As eating out becomes more expensive, some customers become more demanding, seeing the slightest disappointment as a persuasive argument for a refund or compensatory dish.

This hyper-critical tendency is much more damaging when it is taken online and disseminated to the wider world. While nobody would argue that restaurants are beyond criticism, it is important to distinguish between feeling a bit disappointed and feeling justifiably outraged by poor service and inedible, over-priced food.

We’ve looked at both sides of the equation – the customers and the restaurants – and have arrived at the following recommendations:

Restaurant Customers

•Accept reality

Don’t build up a complete set of expectations based on a restaurant’s online presence. Photos can be carefully curated, friends might post positive reviews, customer endorsements are highly selective. We’ve all got a tendency to over-research online and put too much faith in online reviews; sometimes it’s much more effective to peer in a restaurant window, look at the menu, smell the cooking aromas, or politely accost an exiting customer and ask their opinion.

•Keep an open mind

Relish the actual experience, rather than focusing on the ways it is different from your expectations. The décor or menu might be different from the online photos, for example, but consider it on its own terms and be prepared to concede that it works well or is even preferable.

•Analyse your criticism

Sometimes you will find yourself disappointed by a meal, but this is not the fault of the restaurant. It is because you have not chosen wisely, and you may find yourself regretting your choice and feeling jealous of your companions’ meals. If this is the case, you really cannot blame the restaurant – every order you make is a leap of faith; you read the menu description, ask the waiter, think about the ingredients and then take the plunge. You must accept that this process does not always pay off.

•Does your criticism still stand?

If you stand by your criticism and feel that the meal is disappointing because it is poorly cooked, ill-conceived, stingy when it comes to ingredients, overpriced, not the right temperature (the list goes on), you now have a choice. Do you follow the (very British) policy of smiling agreeably when asked if you have enjoyed your meal, while all the time you are contemplating a devastating online review? If this is the case, think carefully before proceeding.

•Can you offer constructive criticism?

Before you take the online route, consider politely conveying your criticism to the waiter. A legitimate critique of a dish is invaluable to a restaurateur; they will understand why you are not entirely satisfied with the meal and will be able to take remedial action. They need considered, rational feedback and will only benefit from it. If you are polite and convey your criticism in a way that sounds helpful, not merely peevish, they will welcome it.

•Do you really need a wider audience?

Consider the downsides of the megaphone approach to criticism. You may well feel that your meal did not come up to expectations, but you must think carefully about whether your criticisms are peculiar to you, or universally applicable. Swamping the internet with negativity is a good way of venting anger and frustration, but do you really want to ruin someone’s business because of something that might be trivial and, more importantly, soluble?

•Is it a hopeless case?

There will inevitably be circumstances when you are outraged by a restaurant. Perhaps you have even complained and have not been satisfied by the response. Maybe the evening has been a chapter of mishaps – from poor service to inedible food, arguments over the bill, and so on. If you think all these shortcomings are an ingrained party of the restaurant culture, rather than an unfortunate night when everything went pear-shaped, then you are justified in leaving a critical online review, for the simple reason that you do not want other people to experience the same problems.  

Restaurant Management

•Are you responsible?

If your customers are berating you for circumstances that are beyond your control (eg noisy building work, obstructive roadworks or draconian parking rules outside your restaurant), you really cannot be held accountable, nor should you be. Apologise as graciously as possible, express your regrets – it’s all you can do.

•Are the criticisms valid?

Some customers will inevitably criticise you for omissions, rather than for what you actually provide. They will be cross that you do not make adequate provision for gluten or lactose intolerant diners or offer enough vegan alternatives. If you are assailed with this sort of criticism, politely point out that your menu reflects what is on offer, and while you will do your best to accommodate your customer’s needs, you are focusing on your speciality dishes. You can always agree with the customer that this could be made clearer online or in the menu and leave it at that – no single restaurant can be expected to accommodate the wide range of dietary preferences and prohibitions that play such an important role in modern food culture.

If a customer goes to the trouble of rationally criticising the food, whether it is online or in person, and explaining why they found it disappointing, you should treat them with respect, acknowledge the criticism and reassure them that you will be addressing it in the future. This is invaluable feedback and will only help you to improve. It goes without saying that criticisms of the service should be immediately addressed with your staff.

•Follow up

If you do encounter negative reviews online, follow them up. Sometimes privately messaging the customer, and engaging in a dialogue with them, can be very productive

•Stay polite

There are reports that some restaurateurs are taking an increasingly hard line with recalcitrant customers. Their frustration is understandable, and it is obviously difficult to run a business when they feel they are being assaulted on all sides, sometimes by people who are just trying it on. But following the adage, the customer is always right, is always advisable. Restaurants are offering a service and keeping the customers happy is central to that mission. Most customers will be reasonable and understanding – it would be a great shame to let a few negative outliers destroy that precious trust.