The British are well known for their maze of circumlocution, ­the roundabout ways in which they avoid saying anything uncomfortable and instead skirt around the edges of confrontation, criticism or disagreement.

These polite phrases have permeated English language and culture, and no doubt cause a great deal of confusion to visitors from countries where language is much more direct. However, it is second nature to most English people to deploy these phrases and, of course, we all know what they mean.

Their purpose is to smooth communication, soften any rough edges, and create an atmosphere of harmony. However, we all know that many of these phrases should be heard or read in context and acknowledge that they are often passive aggressive, using soft words to mask feelings of anger and frustration. Simple words/phrases like “I think” or “maybe” are universally used to indicate polite tentativeness rather than brutal certainty, while “Would you mind?” is used to preface many an unpopular request (and of course is never to be interpreted literally).

A recent study by Trinity College London highlighted the top polite phrases used by English people and revealed that 83 per cent of people surveyed admit that they avoid confrontation at all costs and 46 per cent use so-called polite-isms to relieve tension. This indirect communication, which is so characteristic of English speakers, is challenging for learners of English, who must acquire these skills in order to navigate academic, professional and social life in Britian.

We’ve taken a look at some of the top phrases identified in the study and have divided them into the following three categories:

Avoiding Conflict

These are phrases that take feelings of tetchiness and irritability and translate them into bland, ‘relaxed’ polite-isms. The underlying translation is clear, and some of these phrases may also carry ­­– depending on the situation – further layers or irritability and aggression:

“Can I just squeeze past you?” This means “Can you please move out of the way?” but also carries a strong undercurrent of “and why haven’t you noticed that you’re causing an obstruction?”

“Sounds fun, I’ll let you know” means “I’m not coming” but also carries a distinct whiff of “and please leave me alone”.

“I beg your pardon?” This is perhaps one of the most direct polite-isms, which generally means “I’m furious/What are you trying to say?/Did I hear you right?”. With the emphasis on ‘beg’, it is an unusually clear indication of annoyance.

“Sorry, I’m a bit busy right now!” is a phrase that screams “Leave me alone!/Go away and leave me in peace!”

“No rush, when you have a minute” translates as “Please hurry up” but carries a distinct undertone of “Haven’t you noticed that you’re keeping me waiting?”

“With all due respect…” is a great weapon used in arguments, which means “You’re completely wrong” and implies “I’m now going to tell you why.” This phrase is often wielded when disagreements have become extremely heated and respect for each other’s view is in short supply.

“As per my last email” is the universal cry of the person who has been ignored or overlooked and means “I already told you this”, with a clear frustrated subtext of “Have you even bothered to read what I said?” This cri de coeur has entered the litany of polite-isms since the advent of digital communications; presumably in days gone by “As I said in my last letter” would have also been a contender.

“Sorry, could you say that last bit again” is a fine example of passive-aggression, which clearly signals that the speaker is so bored that they have switched off completely and means “I haven’t been listening to a word you’re saying”.

Looking on the Bright Side

These phrases use the simple technique of, when trying to say something unpalatable, coming up with an expression that means the exact opposite of what you really want to convey. It is universally appreciated that this strange deception will be spotted a mile off, but is acknowledged because it shows a valiant effort to find something positive to say:

“I hear what you’re saying” of course means “I don’t agree with a thing that you’ve said” and inevitably this phrase is often followed by the word ‘but’.

“Not to worry!” this plucky example of British stoicism means “It’s all gone to hell, but let’s keep calm and carry on.” It is generally wheeled out when our backs are against the wall and our options are severely limited.

“I’ll bear it in mind” is an egregious example of avoidance, since we all know it means “I’m not going to consider it for one minute”

“It could be worse”, a phrase that is usually only trotted out when the worst that was feared has actually happened, is another example of relentless optimism, which is maintained in the face of all evidence to the contrary.

“That’s one way of looking at it” is another phrase that tacitly acknowledges opposition but refuses to deal with it, since what it really means is “You’re just so wrong!”

Polite Exasperation

Many of these circumlocutions have evolved to deal with ‘difficult’ situations, where other people have not done what they undertook to do, have not come up to expectations, or have been disappointing. The following phrases clearly highlight their shortcomings, and the attendant frustrations, but in very roundabout ways:

“Just a gentle reminder…” The use of the word ‘gentle’ is a real giveaway here, since the thrust of the message is “Why on earth have you not got back to me/done what you promised?”. The frustration is palpable.

“Happy to help” – this quasi offer of help clearly communicates reluctance (note the manipulative use of the word ‘happy’). The speaker is grudgingly saying “I suppose I’ll have to help out, but I really don’t see why…” A very similar phrase, “Happy to discuss” uses the same formula to convey an absolute reluctance to discuss the matter any further.

“I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know either way”. This clearly means “Why have you not got back to me?” but the baldness and frustration of the statement is masked by the pseudo-politeness of ‘appreciate’ and the meaningless padding of ‘let me know either way’.

“I’m sure it’s just me, but…” This is a classic circumlocution, which means “This is your responsibility and nobody else’s”. By purporting to take responsibility, the speaker is doing the exact opposite and apportioning blame.

“It’s certainly an interesting idea…” The use of the word ‘interesting’ here is a death blow, since it clearly indicates the precise opposite, that it is a truly terrible idea, and cannot be countenanced.

Polite-isms in Practice

Now we are all well versed in the top-ranking British polite-isms, we have put together some sentences that ooze British euphemisms and evasions (with the unadorned translation in brackets).

A simple glance will reveal that the unvarnished truth is aggressive and sometimes offensive, whereas the circumlocutory niceties tend to soften the blow and maintain a feeling of calm and composure – as long as you know how to interpret these phrases and don’t get lulled into a false sense of security:

“Could I just squeeze past you? No rush, when you have a minute!”
(Get out of my way and do it now!)

“Thanks for the invitation, sorry I haven’t replied, I’m a bit busy right now. It sounds fun, I’ll let you know”
(I’ve received your invitation – I wish you’d just leave me alone. I won’t be coming.)

“With all due respect, I’m not sure this is the way to proceed. As per my last email, I have several reservations.”
(This no way to carry on. As I’ve already pointed out, I completely disagree.)

“I hear what you’re saying and I’ll bear it in mind.”
(I don’t agree with you and I’m not going to do what you ask.)

“Not to worry! It could be worse.”
(This is an absolute, unmitigated disaster.)

“Just a gentle reminder about the mail-out we discussed last week. Happy to help.”
(Why haven’t you sent the mailout as we discussed? And don’t ask me to help.)

“I’m sure it’s just me, but your figures don’t appear to add up. Happy to discuss.”
(Your figures don’t make any sense – sort it out and don’t bother me with it.)