Indiscreet group chat conversations, involving inappropriate language, racist and sexist slurs, are making the news once again. Why is the world of groups chats, especially when they are used professionally, turning so poisonous?

The Security Question

Many participants are under the illusion that their outpourings on WhatsApp will never be subject to public exposure. But these conversations may be disclosed as part of court or employment tribunal proceedings or in reply to a data subject request. In addition, everyone should be aware that all written, video and audio communications can be recorded and shared – for example an indiscreet or libellous exchange can be screen-grabbed and widely disseminated. And even if your most ill-advised remarks do not find a wider audience, they are still accessible, lurking around in group members’ chat histories, a horribly clear reminder of your lack of judgement.

Digital messaging involves the written word, and writing – unlike the spoken word – has real staying power. For this reason, it is fundamental common sense to be cautious about what you communicate in writing. Try and get into the habit of always pausing before you press ‘Send’. If you are conscious that what you have written is contentious, try reading it out loud. Then imagine your words being read out loud in front of a ‘neutral’ audience (eg a court of law). If the thought of that scenario makes you cringe with embarrassment, delete the message immediately and think again.

The Tone Question

As well as the durability of the written word, there is also the question of tone. When you are chatting with a group of people, you can process a whole battery of silent signals – timbre of voice, facial expression, body language. Using these signals you can make lightning-fast interpretations of how the group is reacting to your remarks. If you stray into dangerous territory, or make an off-colour joke, you will be immediately aware that you have gone too far or made some members of the group uncomfortable. If that is the case, you can promptly retract your remark or apologise for your indiscretion.

In a group chat, you have recourse to none of these techniques. Your comments, observations, insults and indiscretions are lobbed out into cyberspace, and you will have to wait for them to land, or in some cases, detonate. This time lag makes it impossible to “read the [virtual] room”.

Of course, not all group chats have to be bland and banal. But before you make some witty or provocative observation, think about the dynamic of the group, and the people who are participating in the chat. Just take a few seconds to scroll back over earlier communications and remind yourself of the general tenor of the conversation. You will need to conform to the prevailing mood, rather than being a disruptor. If your group chat colleagues are happy gossiping about dinner plans and weekend activities, they’re not going to want you to come crashing in with a rant about the latest political scandal.

Only participate in group chats if you’re with like-minded people (or if the chat has a clearly delineated function – eg for parents at school, or extended family). If your contributions are making you stand out, or shocking other groups members, that’s when you run the risk of being called out or exposed.

The Appropriateness Question

The boundaries between our work and social lives are becoming increasingly porous, especially as many of us spend much of our week working from home. We may feel obliged to answer our phones, or respond to messages, at all hours of the day and night, and our social lives may well impinge on our professional persona.

The clearly delineated cut-off between work and home lives that characterised earlier generations is no longer considered so important. We often wear the same clothes to work as we do at home, we socialise with our colleagues, sometimes we confide in them. We no longer value the ‘professional’ demeanour, which was self-contained, polite and discreet.

But without that perceived distance between professional and personal it is increasingly hard for us to determine what is appropriate in a certain context. We might well be disinhibited and communicative with our work colleagues, and our group chats might reflect this. But if we take the easy camaraderie a step too far, it might get us into trouble, so it is important to try and make a clear judgement call about what is acceptable, and if in doubt, to err on the side of discretion.

If you enjoy banter and gossip, or just want to have a good moan about your bosses, you would be well advised to do this in real life, outside your work hours. Joining a group of colleagues for an after-work drink is a much safer way to let off steam than airing your views on a group chat. Even then, you should exercise your judgement; making disparaging remarks about clients or customers, even if they are not written down and recorded, is never a good idea in a professional context. It only takes one member of the group to break ranks and spill the beans.