It is always a good idea to invest in good wedding photography, and to find a professional who is capable of creating images that stand the test of time. Some couples choose an engagement shoot as a pre-wedding trial – if the photographs pass muster, then they can feel confident that the big day is covered.

The photographer should be briefed fully on the structure of the day (a written running order, with estimated timings is indispensable). If there are any special requests, these should be conveyed well ahead of time. Contemporary wedding photography usually comprises a mix of both formal portraits and reportage-style. It is essential to compile a list of the required formal photographs, which will ensure there are no embarrassing omissions. If there are complex family dynamics involved (eg divorced parents, grumpy stepchildren), the positioning must be worked out in advance and the photographer fully briefed – nobody wants their wedding photographs to be marred by scowls and poisonous looks on the faces of estranged parents or warring relations.

If you are having a church wedding, check the rules about photography inside the church well in advance and respect them. It helps if the best man and ushers take on the responsibility of liaising with, and assisting, the photographer.

A wedding video captures the essence of the day, along with many moments that the bride and groom would otherwise miss. Above all, it is important to ensure that filming is not intrusive and never dominates the real proceedings.

Stars of the Wedding

So far, so straightforward. But the difficulties begin to accumulate when the bride and groom become obsessed with stage managing the event and aspire to cinematic (or at the very least, Instagrammable) perfection.

This might involve them in scouting for an array of screen-worthy locations and setting up complex shots in inaccessible beauty spots, all set off by dazzling sunsets or golden sunshine. They may require drone shots, multiple angles and hordes of obliging “extras” (otherwise known as wedding guests). Their quest for cinematic perfection may well extend to stage managing their entire guest list, leading them to send out prescriptive (and sometimes quite offensive) directives about the desired colour palette and clothing style required of their guests, and even excluding guests who they consider fall short of the aesthetic mark.

Many couples require photographers to be on duty for the entirety of the wedding day. Traditionally, photographers captured the arrival of the bride and groom at the church or ceremony venue, took photographs of the ceremony (if allowed), and spent an hour or so afterwards taking formal wedding shots. Increasingly, they are required to be up with the lark, recording the bridal preparations, the journey to the venue, the ceremony and its aftermath, and the entirety of the reception. Such are the demands made on them that they often need assistants in attendance and vanloads of equipment. In short, the wedding begins to look more like a movie shoot than a ceremony and a celebration.

Inevitably, this tendency can lead to conflict. Some members of the clergy, made to feel like mere stage props, object to the commodification of a religious ceremony and respond by introducing draconian restrictions on photography. It is vital that photographers are sensitive about their impact, perhaps using silent shutter modes and zoom lenses to ensure that they are not being too obtrusive as they go about their business; this is something that the couple will need to discuss beforehand.

Wedding guests may also find themselves irritated and frustrated by over-intrusive photographers. They may very well resent being elbowed out of the way by a photographer in pursuit of a photo or find themselves unable to see significant moments in the proceedings because their vision is blocked by the hulking figure of a photographer and a vast amount of equipment. Couples will need to think about the impact that photography will have on the guests and balance their desire for an unforgettable record of their big day against their obligations, as co-hosts, to ensure that their guests have a wonderful time and feel able to share in their joy.

The ever-higher standards that are being applied to wedding photography are undeniably associated with social media. Many photographers agree that couples who have been poring over celebrity social media accounts come away with unrealistically high expectations. They may be seduced by professional wedding shoots, where the photographer has the capacity to use models and spend hours setting up shots and reshooting to get the most glamorous and impeccable images. But real life is not like that: a bride will only walk down the aisle once; a groom will only catch his first glimpse of her in a split second and so on. Couples should manage their expectations and acknowledge that real life can throw up accidents, mishaps and glitches as well as invaluable moments of spontaneous recognition and communication.  

Amateur Hour

Most of us now take sophisticated smartphones, with built-in cameras, wherever we go. We’ve got into the habit of photographing absolutely everything, from the most mundane details of everyday life to holidays and special occasions, and weddings are no exception. So, it’s no surprise that wedding guests are now turning into dedicated photographers, creating their own chronicle of every minute of the day, brandishing their smartphones throughout the ceremony and the speeches in a relentless pursuit of an original image.

Of course, this tsunami of amateur photography can lead to some real gems – the bridal couple caught unawares during a quiet moment, looks exchanged between proud parents, child bridesmaids caught pulling silly faces. But, as always, photography can be intrusive and there is always the suspicion that guests are more focused on their photographic record than on the actual drama being enacted for their benefit.

Some couples have taken the situation in hand and request beforehand (in the general package of wedding instructions) that no photography takes place during the ceremony, which will be documented by an official photographer. If this request is made politely, it is unlikely that guests will object. Alternatively, you can just rely on the assumption that your guests are fully sentient and civilised beings who know when they’re getting in the way or spoiling a precious moment and have the good sense to put away their phones and enjoy a very special experience.