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A Very Practical Guide to British Diplomacy

By Rupert Wesson

Diplomacy has been in our thoughts a great deal of late due as much for it’s absence as for it’s presence. 

British Prime Minister Edward Heath once described a diplomat as “a man who thinks twice before saying nothing” which is of course to misunderstand diplomacy entirely. Diplomacy is about achieving results and is perhaps more accurately characterised by the phrase  “diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way” and that of course is never achieved by mute passivity.  It is also worth adding that American “humourist” Will Rogers was quoted as saying that diplomacy is often described as the art of saying “nice doggy” while quietly looking for a stick.  This neatly highlights our differing approaches to diplomacy and dogs.

The British would not claim to be the best diplomats in the world but our approach to this vital art has not been without influence.  We would acknowledge that this is probably a result of our history and our national character.  Our Empire building era meant that English is the lingua Franca of diplomacy which puts us in a position of advantage.  It is almost certainly the direct cause of our poor track when it comes to learning a second language. We also have some innate traits, tropes and characteristics which serve the cause of diplomacy rather well. If nothing else we are a nation that has mastered the strategic use of formality, understatement, polite phrasing and self deprecating humour.  Finally, we may not be a nation famed for the finesse of our hospitality but we do at least understand the importance of a well-timed cup of tea.

The Soft Power of Politeness

The UK is no longer the military super power it once was but at least it can still punch above it’s weight when it comes to soft power.  Whether it is monarchs or marching bands; pubs or Paddington we know how to leverage our cultural phenomena to serve the cause of positive global influence.

The British trait of politeness is admired around the globe and is an essential tool for all diplomats.  We are always ready with an apology be it to people, pets or indeed even the furniture. In addition our language is by default carefully considered, measured and no more direct than it needs to be.  When it comes to delicate negotiations direct language is only used once agreement is reached. Indirect language is essential in order to guide everyone towards that point. It is worth noting that the British might be best described as “mid table” in the linguistic league of directness.  That is to say we are much less direct than most of the Anglophone countries but much more so than most of Asia.  This position affords us a certain global reach.

Then there is pragmatism. Effective diplomacy recognises that perfection is rare and compromise is inevitable. Striking a deal that works “well enough” for all parties is often far more valuable than holding out for an ideal that may never materialise.  Foreign diplomats who observe the uncompromising perfection of our marching bands are delighted to discover a more pragmatic approach to negotiations.

As of today we may not be the leading power of the globe but our history and character have shaped the wider nature of global diplomacy and we would argue, for the good.

The Debrett’s very practical guide to British diplomacy

  • Don’t dispense with formalities.  Formality is often a great starting point when meeting strangers and a little ceremony goes a long way when it comes to creating a great first impression
  • A shared joke is a great way of binding groups of people together.  Don’t be afraid of using a little self deprecating humour if that is going to be helpful.
  • Indirect language allows people with diametrically opposing views to continue the conversation (see below for our helpful guide)
  • Keep calm and carry on. Emotional outbursts can inflame a difficult discussion.  Sang-froid will allow you to steady the ship and get things back on track
  • Apologise early and apologise often (even if the error is not your own).  It expresses care and concern for others at little or no cost to you
  • Don’t underestimate the importance of soft power and deploy it whenever and wherever you can.  It is much cheaper and more sustainable than the alternative
  • Negotiation is an imperfect process and you should not allow perfection to be the enemy of the good.  The phrase “close enough for government work” is not intended as policy but it can be a useful guide.
  • Never explain, never complain.  If you or anyone else get’s process or protocol wrong you should draw as little attention to it as possible and adapt your plans accordingly

Debrett’s helpful (and not entirely tongue in cheek) guide to British diplomatic language

What we sayWhat we want to sayWhat is understood
That is an interesting ideaYou are stark staring madThey think it is an interesting idea
With all due respectI think you are out of lineThey respect us
I’ll bear that in mindI have already forgotten what you have just saidThey will think about what we have said
Could I perhaps suggest….You do not have a choiceThey are giving us a choice
I’m sorry! It is possible I did not express myself very wellYou’re being stupidThey have not been clear and they are trying again
Could I suggest some minor amendmentsLet’s start again, this is going to take foreverWe are making progress, we are nearly there
It is a well intentioned suggestionIt is naïve and dangerously stupidIt was a positive contribution
Could I interject for a moment ?  Stop talking I have heard enoughThey want to ask questions on what I have said before letting me continue
Recollections varyWe all know that was not what was saidI am not being directly challenged on what I have said

Debrett's Diplomacy & Protocol Training

Our history and deep knowledge of protocol and etiquette mean Debrett’s are uniquely placed to provide coaching and training for diplomats, diplomatic missions and indeed anyone conducting business with British and overseas governments.

The Debrett's Coaching team provide entirely bespoke training programmes, crafted to your goals. The Diplomacy programme covers topics such as:

  • Structure and function of Diplomatic Corps
  • Dignitary management
  • Organising signature ceremonies
  • Ceremonial Protocol
  • Forms of address & precedence

If you would like to enquire about our bespoke coaching courses, follow the link below to our contact form. Alternatively, email [email protected] with your enquiry.

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