While incivility is always unpleasant and insidious, it is particularly undermining in the workplace, where it can infiltrate and poison the working culture and leave employees feeling helpless and demoralised.

How Does it Manifest?

There are many factors that underpin the rise of incivility. Sometimes it is simply a matter of individuals who are robust and self-confident, who believe that ‘straight talking’ is a sign of strength, who sow the seeds of incivility in the workplace. Their challenging behaviour, which is designed to disrupt and challenge their colleagues and subordinates (ostensibly to drive them to greater achievements and productivity), can all too often create a culture, where people are cowed and fearful, uncertain about how best to respond, and ultimately compliant. This sort of situation can cause a great deal of discontent and demotivation in a working environment, where employees feel crushed and undermined.

If the person who behaves in a challenging way is a boss, manager or team leader, then their behaviour will pervade the entire working culture. Ultimately, civility will be seen as a sign of weakness, and only ‘thick skinned’ employees, who do not take rudeness to heart, will be able to survive or thrive.

But incivility is not always about overt confrontations, raised voices, arguments, haranguing or bullying behaviour. It can manifest in more subtle ways:

•Covert rudeness

Passive-aggressive behaviour in the workplace comes in many forms. It can range from eye-rolling or exchanging dirty looks when an individual is talking, to spreading nasty rumours and gossip, to the age-old techniques of social exclusion – falling silent when the target comes into the communal kitchen or audibly making social arrangements (lunch, after-work drinks) that exclude the target. Most damagingly of all, these micro aggressions can disrupt professional behaviour – for example perpetrators can take credit for someone else’s work, or subtly undermine their reputation when talking to a manager. 

•Checking out

Not giving colleagues the benefit of your full attention (for example by checking your phone or emails when they are talking in meetings, or starting whispered conversations with other colleagues when they are talking) is a subtle way of undermining them professionally. It indicates that you do not respect them or their opinions.

•Sabotage

This can cover everything from ignoring certain individuals (eg not responding to their emails or requests) to withholding information in order to undermine their professional competence.

Why Does it Happen?

Good workplace cultures are finely balanced and easily disrupted. If the prevailing atmosphere is congenial and collegiate, a culture where employees are supportive and gracious will flourish. But this ideal scenario can all too easily be disrupted.

Strict deadlines, overwork, overtime, budgetary pressures and so on are all factors that can disrupt the harmony of the workplace. Some people thrive on pressure and find the adrenaline that it engenders stimulating and productive. But many people do not, and can become tetchy, strident or resentful when they feel pressurised. These feelings can easily manifest as rudeness, and when affronted colleagues retaliate, the whole edifice of politeness can begin to crumble.

A harmonious workplace can be severely impacted by the behaviour of certain individuals, who refuse to comply with the prevailing norms and enjoy stirring up the perceived complacency and passivity of their colleagues. While in the short term they might have a galvanising effect, in the long term, their behaviour might be damaging. It will be particularly so if these individuals are managers or team leaders.

How to Help

There is no doubt that incivility in the workplace causes stress and unhappiness and impedes the performance of employees. They may feel uncomfortable because of the prevailing culture or feel targeted and persecuted by certain individuals. Colleagues who witness persistent incivility, even if they are not targeted, may feel unhappy and pressurised – they might not be sure how to react, fearful of going against the prevailing culture, or filled with self-reproach because they are not intervening effectively.

There are a number of ways in which these problems can be addressed:

•Be a model of good behaviour

Even if you are not a manager or team leader, you can still make an important contribution to office culture by modelling good behaviour. That means observing day to day civilities (greeting colleagues politely, saying please and thank you, apologising for being late or changing arrangements), showing an interest in your colleagues (making polite enquiries about weekend plans, holidays, children etc), and being as helpful as possible (making a cup of tea if your colleague is feeling stressed, offering to help if they’re overburdened with work).

•Call it out

Don’t make excuses for bad behaviour and remember, if you don’t confront it, you’re effectively condoning it. If possible, address it directly with the perpetrator, in private. Rather than being confrontational, you can use the “you probably don’t realise how upsetting it is when you….” technique. If this approach really isn’t at all possible, you should talk in confidence with your line manager.

•Define Incivility

Sometimes a workplace culture gradually slides, incrementally, into incivility and – especially if you are a manager or team-leader – you will need to stop the rot before this happens, especially if you are receiving complaints about bad behaviour. By involving everyone in the process of discussing and defining incivility and codifying examples of unacceptable behaviour or workplace rudeness, you will be making positive steps towards achieving a polite and supportive working environment.

See Debrett's Guide to Business Etiquette