It’s the time of year for office parties, which for many of us can turn into etiquette minefields. When ‘end of term’ high spirits and alcohol are mingled with suppressed workplace resentments, grievances and office crushes, it can lead to regrettable incidents that cast a long shadow. For many of us, offices are an important part of our everyday lives, and it is therefore imperative that you don’t let Christmas disinhibition blot your copybook or alienate your colleagues.

The office party has also been somewhat transformed by the rise of hybrid working. Many of us spend substantial parts of our working weeks at home and are becoming unused to day-to-day socialising with colleagues. This fracturing of office social life makes it all the more important that teams are brought together from time to time in a non-working context and Christmas offers an excellent excuse. But because we are unused to seeing each other regularly, these events become more highly charged and we are often more hectic and high-spirited than we might have been in the days of mundane, everyday interactions.

Considerations for Managers

1. It is important that your corporate hospitality looks generous, and nobody will appreciate an invitation to an event that makes various stipulations about paying bars or restrictions on drink. If you are struggling with a tight entertainment budget this year, think about ways in which you can save money without appearing tight-fisted, for example by selecting a more modest venue, or specifying a shorter time span (eg 6-9pm rather than 6-midnight). Being obviously stingy with drinks and food will cause simmering resentment amongst your workforce.|

2. Be meticulous about invitations, and make sure that everyone who has any role on your team (even people who are freelance or work entirely outside the office) is invited. Try to send out invitations with a reasonable amount of notice, and make sure that they are clearly worded: date, time, venue, nature of the event (drinks, drink and supper, etc), dress code (if applicable).

3. As a manager, you are essentially a host, so act like one. When you’re at the party, make sure you mingle and exchange a few words with all the employees invited. Now is not the time to sequester yourself away with other company leaders; Christmas parties are the perfect time to break the ice and get to know your staff.

4. Keep it affable and don’t talk shop. While it’s fine to exchange a few positive remarks with your employees, along the lines of “we’ve had a great year, and thank you very much for everything you’ve done”, now is not the time to start talking about upcoming meetings, new year sales strategies or targets.

Dos and Don'ts for Employees

DO

•Attend

We all know that office parties come at a very busy time of year, and may well clash with other social arrangements, but it is a really good idea to prioritise them. It’s all part of the workplace esprit de corps, and if you’re a no-show your colleagues might take it amiss (unless you have a very good excuse) and feel that you’re very obviously indicating that you have better things to do. They will feel disregarded and downgraded, and you may well find that a single social lapse has a negative impact on your workplace relationships.

•Attend willingly

Bearing in mind the above, it is a really bad idea to grudgingly attend an office party, while telling everybody about the social engagements you’ve had to miss to do so. This will not only make your colleagues feel like the second-best option, your social grandstanding will antagonise them  – nobody likes people who boast about their packed social diary and (infinitely more) glamorous invitations.

•Eat beforehand

Often office parties start straight after work and that means that you’re likely to have a few drinks before any food is offered (and often the food offerings are insubstantial). If you haven’t had a decent lunch, you’ll be drinking on an empty stomach, with all the risks that entails. Of course, you’ll want to have an enjoyable time, but remember intoxication and office hierarchies don’t really mix, and the more disinhibited you become, the more likely you are to put your foot in it or say something career-endangering or embarrassingly indiscreet.

•Think carefully about dress

This is often not an issue, as people turn up at office parties in work dress. But if your party is an evening affair and the expectation is that you’ll dress up for it, think carefully. You’ll want to show that you’ve made an effort to look good, but pulling out all the stops and wowing your team members with an extravagantly glamorous or provocatively revealing showstopper might not be the best policy and you may well be outdoing your colleagues and making them feel uncomfortable. Save that outfit for partying with friends and play it safe.

•Try and talk to as many people as possible

It’s really not a good look to spend the evening in a huddle with your best office friends, not deigning to talk to colleagues you might not know as well. The party is a good opportunity to put names to faces and meet people from different parts of the company. You’re all in the same boat, so it’s easy to march up to people you don’t know and introduce yourself and, if you do so, it will be noted and approved. If you spot any social wallflowers, or colleagues that you know are shy, do them a favour and include them in conversations and introductions.

•Drink moderately and know when to leave

Control your drinking by alternating water and alcoholic drinks. If you know you’re likely to get carried away and drink too much, it’s a good idea to ask a friend to keep an eye on you and drag you away when you’re straying into dangerous territory. In general, aim to leave before the very end of the party – if you’re still draining the last dregs in your glass while people are clearing up and locking the doors, you have definitely outstayed your welcome.

DON’T

•Resist posting on social media

It might be acceptable to take a group photo at the beginning of proceedings and post it, but the best policy is to put your phone away and forget about social media for the duration of the party. If you spend your whole evening posting tawdry images of the event on social media you won’t be making yourself very popular – most images of parties look sleazy and disreputable. And there’s a real risk that you might capture some indiscreet behaviour and broadcast it to all and sundry. Whatever you do, don’t tag the company’s official account.

•Beware buttonholing your boss

If you are intoxicated enough, you might misread the general air of bonhomie at the party as a golden opportunity to corner your boss and drunkenly ask for a pay rise, or a chance to air your views on company policy, working hours, team dynamics and so on. You will regret this misapprehension the following day.

•Avoid turning into a party cheerleader

Don’t force other people to drink. There is nothing criminal or sinister about those who believe they can have a good time on sparkling mineral water, and you should certainly leave them to their own devices.

•Never make a clumsy pass at your secret crush

If there are any possibilities of an office romance, you need to explore them somewhere else away from everybody’s gaze. The office party might well serve as an icebreaker, but your behaviour is being closely observed and will provide endless fodder for office gossips.

•Never take sick leave the following day

If you are expected to work in the office on the day after the party, do your utmost to comply, no matter how desperately ill and hungover you’re feeling. Everyone knows why you are calling in sick and your feeble lies will be a black mark against you, no matter how convivial or entertaining you were the night before.

The Aftermath

The morning after an office social debacle can be an excruciating affair. The dimly remembered indiscretions of the night before are the water-cooler and coffee-machine gossip-fodder of the morning after. Walking into an office after a unfortunate social performance takes reserves of insouciance and chutzpah that many of us simply don’t possess.

So, remember the limitations of office life. Save your wildest, most uninhibited behaviour for you friends, and ration your intake of the demon drink at the work social. You may come across as demure and self-contained, but at least you’ll be able to hold your head up the following morning.

If indiscretions have occurred, what are you going to do about it? The average office party sin (straightforward drunkenness) may be best left without apology – your misdeeds may well be forgotten in the mists of alcoholic amnesia. But if you badly overstepped the mark, then it’s time to take a deep breath and humble yourself. Make sure of your facts (by making discreet enquiries of a trusted friend) before embarking on the process of apologising. You should know for certain what you did wrong, and to whom you should apologise.